The Same Deep Water As You (23/54)

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Banner by natsukashi_yume

The Same Deep Water As You
by solo____ & jo_lasalle
Pairing: Kamenashi Kazuya / Akanishi Jin
Rating: Explicit
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Alternate Universe fiction. None of this is true.
Warnings: If there are any warnings for this story, you will find them here.
Summary: Kame's got his reasons for seeing prostitutes. Jin's got his reasons for being one. Life is pretty screwed up.
Notes: Story notes, acknowledgements and frantically reiterated disclaimers are here.

Previous chapters | Current chapter

He hasn't thought of the whore all day, and that's good; it's hard enough here without feeling ashamed of that, too. Hard enough with Midori happy like this, kind and calm as ever, an anchor…
 

Comments

[aya-3003.livejournal.com]

and waiting another week for the next chapter ^.^
keeps going like that~

I like the development between Jin and Kame. Of course.
Interesting to see their roles switched. Kame slowly breaking and I guess Jin noticing new aspects of Kame's character.

Same as usual, let's see what will happen next.
I will look forward to it.

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the wait. (No, not really. We can't get them ready any faster. :-)

We really like your comment about the switched roles, we were kind of hoping it would work that way. Even though Kame is still the rich guy and Jin is still the escort with a crappy life. :-)

Yeah, what will happen next... ;p

Thank you for commenting, it's very much appreciated. :-)

[souleater-angel.livejournal.com]

' "…these guys who try to tell you it's cool to break things and defy adults, aren't they just… insecure? Aren't they just trying to get you to join them so… so they can be less insecure…" '-- I feel bad for Kame-chan, I really do. He's so lost and helpless right now, but I have to say I laughed at that image, picturing Kame stammering like that. I'm horrible I know.

But seriously now, Kame's falling apart! I feel so bad for him. He has no one... And his interaction with Midori was quite interesting as well. She's the closest thing he has to a friend, yet she's the last person he can confide in about these issues he has. He just has nowhere to go...

I'm kind of afraid that Jin's little rays of hope for friendships will at some point be crushed. He's really quite thrilled about having numbers from people from places other than work, and it was cute when he was learning about contacts and ringtones. Buying sheets and looking like he needs help. I hope his little happier time of life doesn't get brutally crushed.

Again, I loved getting both their POVs in one chapter. It's hard reading only one side of the story every week. I need them both!

Ahh again another cliffhanger. Kame trying to conquer this thing with Jin again. You just never know what's going to happen with the two of them. But hey, we're nearly halfway through, things are going to have to change sometime...

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Hee, we'd be laughing too if it wasn't so sad. In fact, there might have been some hysterical giggling and questions of 'what the hell are we doing to the poor guy?' at this point of writing.

Falling apart... yes. We're very glad that comes across.

We're afraid it's back to single POVs for a bit after this. The switching works if we only have small snippets of scenes, but for something longer, it would be quite weird to just flip back and forth? Sorry!

But hey, we're nearly halfway through, things are going to have to change sometime...

Not telling. *evil grin*

Thanks for the comment, it's a delight as always!

[brindhakrishnan.livejournal.com]

I felt like this week's update was sort of a continuation of last week. The feelings and vibes I get is quite similar. Jin being slightly sympathetic (not exactly enough though) towards Kame and Kame being depressed. Its just sad. And Midori, how is this going to end? I wonder...

Though finally we find out that Kame has taken the first step again to contact Jin and put an end to his misery. Hopefully it goes well next week. Kame really deserves it. I am really crossing my fingers that it finally works out for them next week. :)

I like how Jin now thinks he has the upper hand while Kame thinks Jin can't hurt him further. So what is going to happen when they meet I wonder....

I shall keep wondering till next week. ^^


Till next week...

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was definitely a continuation, you spotted that totally right. We've got (we hope) a particular trajectory there, and those two chapters were a logical sequence.

I like how Jin now thinks he has the upper hand while Kame thinks Jin can't hurt him further. So what is going to happen when they meet I wonder....

You're wondering about all the right things. Stuff's got to move... (though no spoilers as to where).

Till next week! This was a cool comment as always, thank you.

[carboncastel.livejournal.com]

Aaaand Kame books Jin again! Lol, indeed, it must really be "some weird brand of masochism". But I'm happy they get to see each other again. Looking forward to their interaction! xD

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Aaaand Kame books Jin again! Lol, indeed, it must really be "some weird brand of masochism".

Kame would explain to you that he's only trying to get things settled. And he's not obsessed at all. And certainly not masochistic. Perish the thought! :-)

He might, however, be suffering from diminished responsibility.

Thank you for commenting! We hope you... um, enjoy... next week.

[natsukashi-yume.livejournal.com]

Kame's marriage fills me with so many conflicting emotions. I really like Midori and if this was a true relationship they would be so close to being one of those disgustingly cute and affectionate couples, and even with it being fake, Kame shows how he cares about her in addition to his "keeping up appearances" bid. He's nice to her because he likes her but his heart's not in it and something tells me that's so much worse if she ever were to find out.

Ah, Jin and Sakurai.. it's been a while since we read an easy, smooth appointment that wasn't Yamatani. Glad at least Jin is holding it together.

Back to Kamedori: He's considerate, but so achingly formal that it makes me question how perceptive Midori is.. whether she has an inkling and is just trying to make the best of the situation because she loves him. THREE WEEKS?!?!?! God that woman is a saint!!

He can't go to anyone, anywhere, before he stops being like this. T______________T

LOL, I love Arashi in this... Ohno the Escort, Jun the giggling Dom, Nino the cheeky Waiter.

I try to work up some righteous anger for each time Kame just thinks of Jin as "the whore" but I have a feeling it's him being in denial and angry about his own lack of control taking it out on the one person who bore witness to the whole disaster.

Awwww, Junnooooo he's so adorable and clueless but perceptive and squeeeeee.

It's so weird how Kame and Jin are on opposing sides but both armor up in a very similar way to face each other. Without even meaning to, they both really care what the other thinks of them.

ACK, such a cliff hanger. *sobs*

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

We're really happy that you like Midori! She's a lovely person, or at least we meant her to be, we were very concerned not to make her into some nonentity (or worse, bitch) like the wives of people in slash pairings are sometimes presented. (And yeah... 3 weeks... it helps she's also very busy and it's simply part of their lives that they don't get much time together. She also figures Kame just doesn't have that high a sex drive, but is a considerate, if slightly boring, lover.)

Glad you liked Arashi, too! We feel quite out of our depth with some of them, tbh - most of our apologetic note about people from other JE bands is really about them.

I try to work up some righteous anger for each time Kame just thinks of Jin as "the whore" but I have a feeling it's him being in denial and angry about his own lack of control

It's definitely Not Nice but then Kame and Nice don't have such a good track record when it comes to Jin here. Too much stuff... interfering. >.< We are actually a little pleased that even though Kame is really not having the easiest time of it, his less endearing habits remain, well, noticed.

Sorry about the cliffhanger (insert evil laugh here). And thank you for commenting! ♥

[akamaru07.livejournal.com]

wake me up on next thursday please. it will be a loooooooooooooooooooooooong wait. xD

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Whaaat, we sent you to sleep? ;-)

We hope you have sweet dreams while you wait!

[akamaru07.livejournal.com]

kame said an hour and a half right? why do I have to wait for a week???!!! kldjs.

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Mwaahaha, because life isn't fair! (Also, Kame paid much more than you, he gets express delivery! ;-)

[ladyc2]

He's going to make this work.

Lol, he's just not giving up until he gets it right - the perfectionist in Kame coming out.

And things are really looking up for Jin (getting Tomo and Junno's numbers was really sweet - esp Junno because it was a little unexpected). And yet no matter how hard he tries he can't get Kame out of his mind.

Looking forward to their next appointment - arrrgh but I'm off on a short holiday so won't be able to read it 'til the following Tuesday - the suspence is killing me.

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Yes, he's totally a perfectionist, and he would like his life to be back in order and under his control RIGHT NOW, kthxbai.

While Jin's life... yeah, it's getting better. :-) We're glad you liked that part.

Hope you have a nice holiday! Are you going anywhere exciting?

[ladyc2]

To Sydney (It's a short trip cos I live in Australia already). Should be fun though, haven't been on a holiday in ages.

While Jin's life... yeah, it's getting better. :-) We're glad you liked that part.

I definitely did

and he would like his life to be back in order and under his control RIGHT NOW

This is the part that worries me - I can see Jin's apology as being the final nail in the coffin for Kame's meltdown - after all at this stage, funnily enough, Jin's actually the person in Kame's life who knows him best (and how sad is that from Kame's pov) and if even "the whore" can do quick research and figure things out then Kame will probably figure that anyone (someone actually important in his mind at this stage) could do the same at any moment.

I hope that made sense.

Or who knows, maybe Kame will get his wish and it will go well for a change - Lol!

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Sydney, cool! We hope you have a great trip! Yay for holidays! :-)

We love your insights, you have no idea how much. We really don't want to give too many hints about the next chapter -- and thus have to tease you more before your Sydney adventure -- but we ♥♥♥ this comment.

Let's talk after your holiday... ;-)

[wendy138.livejournal.com]

Nooooo, what a tease! Can't wait for next week's chapter. :-) Thanks for sharing.

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Sorry sorry sorry. ;_; It had to be this way. We hope the next chapter is worth the wait. *teeease*

Thank you for commenting! :-)

[silverrain184.livejournal.com]

Damn, Jin is now losing ground with me as well ;__;

In the beginning, I thought live just fucked him over but I guess he’s a pretty submissive type to begin with (and I really have a problem with those).

I need my characters with a bit of self esteem and self-respect, despite on how trashed they’re.

I still don’t like the idea of Jin feeling the need to apologize and his sympathy with the constant thoughts he’s having for Kame. I feel like Kame has to ‘earn’ that, not just get it like that by acting like an asshole, if you know what I mean.

It makes me almost mad, I want to shake Jin. He’s thinking like that, feeling compassion or whatever. He should know how his ‘Kamenashi Kazuya’ just labels him ‘whore’ in his thoughts…

It's gonna be interesting, at which point Kame hits rock bottom...

I’m sorry I hardly have positive plot comments these days but I have to be honest on the emotion-level.
I probably sound like I don’t like what I read…well, I don’t like what I read but I can’t quit either and I’m too curious and I’m still hoping for a better turn and it’s still the story that evokes the most intense emotions in me while reading so I can't keep it in and blah-di-blah, you get the jist, I’m repeating myself.

So as always waiting for next week. And I’m basically a faithful commenter, if awesome authors deserve feedback and care for mine

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

We totally care for your comments, let's say that straight away. It's very rare that writers get honest reactions even if the reactions are critical or frustrated, and you have no idea how much we appreciate it! And will continue to appreciate it! Our fear is not of what you might say, it's that you might at some point stop.

Now, Jin... we do think that life fucked him over and fucked him over *good*, and he takes some things for granted that he really shouldn't. We would have hesitated to describe him as submissive because that seems to imply he enjoys it; he doesn't, and he also doesn't think Kamenashi was right to do all those things to him, but because of all he's been through, his baseline for 'unforgiveable' is quite different.

About the apology, we get that when you're already frustrated with Jin for his sympathy with Kamenashi, that just makes it that much worse. Apologizing for laughing is still important to Jin not because what Kamenashi did to him is now okay, but because, one, Jin really can't help empathizing with someone getting screwed over by a lover the way Kame was (not only is Jin basically a sap, but there's some shared trauma going on here), and two, Jin does not want to be an asshole too.

Jin for once feels in a position of relative strength and much less like he *has* to put up with shit, which is a feeling he likes, and it feels better when he knows he wasn't in the wrong anywhere.

We're not saying this because we're trying to convince you! Just saying that we get where you're coming from but have a different reading.

Jin will probably lose you completely sometime very soon. This makes us sad, but the story arc is set, there's really nothing we can do about it. D: We'd love to say 'trust us', but given what's been going on for them and what's coming, that's a pretty tall order. We'd be intrigued to know whether you end up liking Kamenashi better eventually.

If you get really ticked off, maybe give it a break for three weeks and *then* see how things have developed - because they will have. Our Jin is not, essentially, a doormat. Really. (We hate doormats, too.) But there's backstories and impulses and... well. Jin *is* messed up. Kame is messed up. This is a story about messed up folks.

Anyway, tl;dr. Thank you very much for commenting, we love hearing that you are so invested in the story that you get annoyed with Jin and with us. We love getting genuine reactions, and even if there are things we can't change now, they certainly make us think! ♥

[silverrain184.livejournal.com]

Thanks for writing how you want to portray Jin. I think I do get it a bit better now.
I mean, I always understood his reasonings but couldn't quite connect to it.

Jin does not want to be an asshole too.
You got me there, this is something I can work with haha
I understand, Jin can emphathize with someone getting screwed over by his lover but my normal reaction would be to question if he might have deserved it by betraying him first/changing him for fame. I'm just trying to understand ;)
But maybe there're still missing puzzle pieces for me to understand? (Or I just think different)

Jin will probably lose you completely sometime very soon.
No, NO, NOOOO! What have you planned for this story?! This makes me so scared! I might have to consider sitting out a few chapters, but my curiosity...my weekly waiting for an update...my impatience...my, my, argh, noooo!
Don't make me cry ;__;

I really do like stories about messed up people, it's just easier to read when you sympathize with one character. I mean, I do but you're pulling back a bit of that (or everything? Now you've got me really scared).

Haha, I'm not annoyed by YOU, not at all!

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Um, our reply to this is below, we were idiots and posted it in the wrong place... sorry!

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Thanks for writing how you want to portray Jin. I think I do get it a bit better now.

We guess we need our knuckles rapped for not managing to convey it better in the text. ^_^;

Jin does not want to be an asshole too.
You got me there, this is something I can work with haha

Ha ha, yes, good. :-)

I understand, Jin can emphathize with someone getting screwed over by his lover but my normal reaction would be to question if he might have deserved it by betraying him first/changing him for fame.

Yes. He could have asked himself that. Maybe he should have - it's plausible that he would, given what he knows of Kamenashi. (Hey, want a job as beta reader next time? *g*) It probably wouldn't have made a difference because even if Kame *had* dumped the BF for his career, Jin would still have found what the BF did in return too horrible and unjustifiable... so the end result would have been the same, really.

What have you planned for this story?! This makes me so scared! I might have to consider sitting out a few chapters, but my curiosity...my weekly waiting for an update...my impatience...my, my, argh, noooo!

Um. Don't make us feel guilty. >_> Just saying, in terms of what you are complaining about, it gets worse before it gets better. (This is the motto of this story.)

I really do like stories about messed up people, it's just easier to read when you sympathize with one character. I mean, I do but you're pulling back a bit of that (or everything? Now you've got me really scared).

Now it's our turn to go No, NO, NOOOOOO! We certainly aren't trying to make you dislike Jin, or stop sympathizing with Jin, not intentionally! We'd much prefer if you continued to like and sympathize with him (and maybe got to like Kame too, eventually)! Just, if he made you impatient *here*, then you will probably be very displeased with him in the couple of chapters that follow. (After that, he can try to wiggle his way back into your good graces. *g* He's good at wiggling, Yuuya taught him some tricks. :-)

[baka-lolli.livejournal.com]

Okay even though this seems just like a continuation of the last chapter and proved to be a big teaser for us readers I still enjoyed it a lot. And no I didn't enjoy Kame's misery anymore (he finally reached my pitiness level where I only wanted to give him a hug ;_;) but I'm really glad about Jin's livestyle improvement. Getting new "friends", shopping for house equippment, being a complete tech-illiterate except for cars makes him kind of adorable. ^^

I also liked the snippets about the Johnnys escorts because they were really needed among Kame's depressing state in order to lighten up the mood a little bit. I almost cracked up when I made the mistake to picture Jun in a dommi-dress and Hina as Detective Conan in my mind rather clearly. xDDDD
And I'm not quite sure if I'm seeing things again or not but the bondage topic there, was this also a little hint regarding Jin and Kame's first meeting? I always get the feeling lots of things happening in the club could be seen as hints and I love to analyze such stuff. *gg* Sorry if I'm thinking too much sometimes and some things are really not that important. xD
Nino!Cameo as the waiter was also funny ^^ and the smooth appointment with Sho was so well written that I felt totally relaxed myself after reading. xD Couldn't help but think that this would be Kame's dream date with Jin. *lol* Well, good luck! Seriously doubt he will get it soon but I'm admiring his strong will to try it until it's right. Though this striving for perfection was actually what got him into all this mess to begin with. ^^;

Anyway I just hope Jin's not going to do the same mistakes as Kame while building up a fake like for himself but I think he started better already with telling Pi about his sexual orientation and Taguchi about his wish to quit his current job. I also like the fact that now he has someone inside and outside of his job to talk to. Something like this can be really important.

About the upcoming appointment, I'm dead curious especially after both having specific expectations now based on their past experiences but I'm more than sure this event won't turn out as expected at all. XD
So see you next Thursday. <3

[haikuesque.livejournal.com]

Wanting to hug Kame is good. (Not that he deserves it, grrr, but still.)

You recognize all our tricks. Yeah, the bondage and associated matters are... this ongoing thing, which Jin is really not into even in a 'safe' context, for a number of personal reasons. But of course in a place like where he works, a bit of kink is totally normal, and it's a good money earner for the escorts, so he's a little bit the odd one out for being so tremendously vanilla.

Jin's never been good at being closeted, he's way too straightforward. We are pleased to have Pi in there as someone being awesome about it, it makes for a nice change. The escort stuff is more of a problem for him, because that's something he really doesn't want to be found out about, for obvious reasons. >.< We don't think he'd ever reach this Kame's epic capacity for 'building a fake life', but it is a topic that concerns him too.


Glad you enjoyed the curtain bed sheet shopping and Jin's technology troubles. And Sho! We had fun with that, and for Jin it was a nice change to get that right between them.

Though this striving for perfection was actually what got him into all this mess to begin with. ^^;

Yep. *sigh* And you have good instincts. ;-)