Mr Hayashi, married with one child, government worker, homeowner, enjoys gardening and afternoon tea

[jo-lasalle.livejournal.com]

Mr Hayashi, married with one child, government worker, homeowner, enjoys gardening and afternoon tea
by jo_lasalle

A Youkai Ningen Bem story, written for threewalls as a treat in Yuletide 2011

Pairing: Bem/Natsume
Rating: M for Mature. B for Bemangst. H for... you'll see.
Notes: This was written before the final episode of Youkai Ningen Bem aired and branches off from canon after episode 9.
Notes 2: With much thanks to solo____ for a thorough beta on a very tight schedule. (See, even when I write on my own I never let her too far out of my clutches...)
Summary: Bem doesn't get to be human.

They were grown in a laboratory, and they're in a laboratory when they learn that this is all they'll ever be.

Comments

[souleater-angel.livejournal.com]

I really loved this. I wasn't sure if I could really get into the Bem/Natsume thing (mostly cuz a little module of my brain starts freaking out if I picture Kame with anyone other than Jin) but this was nice. Bem's character is a very deep one, and I think you captured it perfectly.

I loved Belo and Bela's parts in this as well. Bela having to deal with stupid humans and Belo having to watch his friend growing older without him...

Bem would be very difficult to write, I would think. And I so want to see Bem be happy like this. Natsume is so understanding and gentle with him, knowing Bem is fragile despite being a monster.
"Bem lowers his head. In truth he's never thought much about his hair one way or the other, but it's nice, to hear that from Natsume."--I so loved that line.

You did Bem's point of view very well, especially in regards to his interaction with Natsume. Drinking alcohol despite not liking it, working well with Natsume and protecting him, as well as getting his first kisses. I was surprised Bem held in the change as long as he did; he could have easily lost it with the first kiss I imagine. But with Natsume, it doesn't really matter. It makes me so, so glad to see Bem finally get to be happy.
Thanks so much for this. ;]

[jo-lasalle.livejournal.com]

I wasn't sure if I could really get into the Bem/Natsume thing (mostly cuz a little module of my brain starts freaking out if I picture Kame with anyone other than Jin)

Oh, interesting! That wouldn't even have occurred to me, to me Bem and Kame are very different. (OMG and I'm glad for it -- can you imagine poor Kame doing that much moping? I'd worry so much for him! >.<) But cool you found you enjoyed the story after all!

It's been a while that I got as much into a non-RPF character as I did with Bem, so it pleases me to think that I got him down on paper reasonably well. *g* He is very much an angstbunny, and I enjoyed it myself that he got to be happy in this. (And Bela and Belo, too. They deserve it, even if Bela would probably argue with me just to argue with me. *g*)

Bem would never have held on as long without the practice beforehand, for sure. He just got a bit better at generally controlling his form... until things do get too much. :-)

Thanks very much for this lovely comment, it made me bounce in the car seat next to Solo!!

[souleater-angel.livejournal.com]

Bem and Kame are indeed quite different as far as personality, probably the only reason I was able to read this^^ But Bem still has Kame's face, and shoulders, and waist, and tiny nipples... XD I wouldn't be able to stand it if Kame had Bem's sad little hopeful looks all the time though...

it made me bounce in the car seat next to Solo!! -Glad I achieved bounciness! _{and maybe a raised eyebrow from Solo} :D


Thank you again!

[ladyc2]

This was lovely.

Bem deserves at least a little bit of happiness (and Bela & Belo too, of course) and it was nice to see him getting the simple things like a home, a job (sort of), an extended family and finally love.

[jo-lasalle.livejournal.com]

Thank you! You know, I've seen your icon before but I never really... paid attention. Hi there pretty Bem!

And apologies for the late response, hectic lives. The feedback's much appreciated!

[aya-3003.livejournal.com]

I think I promised to write a comment :D
and got remembered today as I started to caught up with Kame's Radio Show and him talking about the girl!AnAn shoot. Of course Natsume saw it and complimented him "Beautiful, ne Bemu" they are so into each other! ^.^

There are good reasons everywhere *_* and a lot of time for story development~
even though I still have no idea how much time passed in the story. 7 years?

Somehow I am glad that you didn't name him Tanaka.

Just asking, does you Bemu eventually learn to speak a sentences in one breath or is he still stopping at every word? It's impossible for me to read any kind of communication from him without stopping at at least every third word to make a breathing and thinking break.

The whole beer, tea, Bemu accident is genial. + them getting older + quarreling with the state + the girl's talk while drinking beer + them getting slowly closer and closer + the tickling + evolving relationships of all characters + especially how his skin starts to crack from Natsume's compliments Bemu just fails with any kind of emotions and isn't able to control his feelings on the long run, they are overflowing :D

I think Bemu would have never survived even half of the last scene without the tickling experiments.

This FF is not what I imagined a perfect Bemu!Natsume FF to be, it's even better.
I highly doubt to be able to find something better than this. It just fits. With all those small little pieces at the right places. + story development + etc. ♥

[jo-lasalle.livejournal.com]

This FF is not what I imagined a perfect Bemu!Natsume FF to be, it's even better.

w00t! Thank you, that's a totally sweet comment.

Yes, 7 years of time passing. Maybe I should have had a timestamp somewhere else but right at the end too!

Somehow I am glad that you didn't name him Tanaka.

I considered Katou, but thought that might be as evil as Tanaka. *g* (If harder to write.)

Just asking, does you Bemu eventually learn to speak a sentences in one breath or is he still stopping at every word?

LOL! Hmmm, eventually? *g* I think he's already moved on to be a bit less of an angstbunny, and if he just... relaxes... a bit, that will be very helpful for his style of communication!

Thanks so much for this lovely comment, I'm glad you came back to write it. I was blushing a bit when I got it. :-) I'm glad you liked the emo stuff and the relationship developments!

[aya-3003.livejournal.com]

Somehow I had Suzuki in mind, because that name is hardly used in the JE fandom, but Hayashi is as good as everything else :D
Just Tanaka is overused.

Couldn't help myself, I had to make fun of Bemu all the time. :D
There wasn't that much plot in the end and I had to stay alive somehow.
till there was another half nacked scene XD

I'm always up for good structured stories! I just had to put my appreciation into words :D

[lieben-kame.livejournal.com]

I CAN'T REALLY THINK COHERENTLY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THE LAST SCENE AND I'M LIKE AKJSGFKASDGKFG-ING SO HARD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE NATSUBEEEEEEEEM AND OMGOSH BEM IS SO FORWARD BUT IT'S SO SWEET AND I CAAAAAAN'T









OH GAWWWD ALL THE WARM AND FUZZY FEELINGS EVERYTIME I'M SOBBING OVER AKAME I'LL JUST GO BACK AND READ THIS :'D

I am REALLY upset that this only has 8 comments, I guess the length scared mostly everyone away LOL but THEIR LOSS BECAUSE THIS IS SOO PERFECT. I enjoyed every second of it, I just, I really love how you write. ;_; You have like the perfect balance of dialogue and description, (a lot of fics in the past I've read focused a lot on description which got kinda draggy sometimes) and I like how how for certain things you don't say outright what's happening and leave the reader to figure it out, like with Natsume tickling Bem. Instead of saying "he tickled him" you used "he grabbed his side and Bem turned away" and such, it kinda makes it a lot more interesting to read. :DDD If fan fiction writers could make money, I'm sure you'd have as much as JK Rowling right now. ;D FLAWLESS WRITING IS FLAWLESS. I think I might cry :'D

/off to go watch YNB for the 4th time