9 1/2 Weeks - 07 - (Week 3: Saturday)
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Week 3: Saturday
"You really don't have to stay." Meisa slips into her peach-colored coat and looks guilty. "I thought you wouldn't have time because of your new job now and I really needed someone..."
"It's fine," Jin says for the third time, keeping his voice low too. "Don't worry about it, okay? I don't think they're paying you to be frowny-face stresspuppy."
She laughs. "They're paying me to look like I know about cars." She's the face of a Nissan show-room opening, four days noon to night, and she's really happy about it.
"You look amazing," he says.
"They've got the clothes and the stylist waiting for me there," she grins, hunting for her car keys in the ever messy key drawer in the genkan.
"Still," he says, but leaves it at that.
Then Meisa is ready to go, pushing back her shoulders. "Don't let her..." She makes a face again.
"I'm fine," Jin says. "Now don't be late."
He watches her beautiful legs as she walks down the corridor. There's a kick in her step that wasn't there last week, and it makes his heart lighter. It's been a while since she's had a good gig like this.
Then he steps back inside and steels himself.
"Did mom find her keys?" Sara-chan says from the dining table where she's drawing things.
Akira is doing his homework as Meisa told him, and there wasn't even any wheedling that it could wait till Sunday. "She always looks for them for ages," he contributes.
It used to be Jin always searching for shit but they're too young to remember; it hasn't been his car in five years. "She's on her way," he says. On her way and ready to kick some ass. Okay, he doesn't say that.
"So, Jin-san, will you be staying for lunch then?" his mother-in-law says, perfect polite smile on her lipstick mouth and the sweet tone that triggers Jin's guilt reflex without her even trying.
"If you don't mind," he says with a little bow. "I thought I'd spend the day with the kids."
"Dad can check my homework," Akira says. "I have lots of English stuff."
"Of course I don't mind," she says. "As long as it's not keeping you from your work."
"My work doesn't start till late," he says meekly.
"I drew a guitar, dad," Sara says, and waves him over. Jin gives a small apologetic bow, but it seems his visitor's pass for today has been granted, and Kuroki-san turns back towards the kitchen, where she likes to spend most of her time.
Sara's guitar has three strings and looks like a legless camel.
"Very good, princess," Jin says.
"What should I have next?" she asks him. Clearly she aims to start a band here.
"Drums," Jin says. "That's important. But it might be a bit difficult to draw."
"I can do it," Sara declares, and starts with a bold artist's stroke.
He checks on Akira while she is doing her thing. Turns out the homework is math at the moment and Akira's getting on quite well. Bright boy. "I have to memorize a text for English," he says, peering up. "Can you test me later?"
"Yes, of course," Jin says, and Akira only squirms a little when he ruffles his hair.
"Daaaaad," Sara complains. "My drum sucks."
"Sara-chan," comes a voice from the kitchen. "Don't say that word."
Sara rolls her eyes and Jin has to bite his cheek as he nods. "Listen to your grandma."
"It looks stupid, though," she says. "It's hard." Jin tilts his head and tries to gauge which way round she drew it. "It would be easier at my desk."
"You have a desk now?" Of course, she's that age.
"Not really," she pouts. "It's just a mess, in my room, so I can't play."
"IKEA," Akira supplies, looking up from his math. "Mom started to put it together and then she got busy."
"Oh," Jin says. This sort of thing normally gets left to him. But of course, Meisa thought he was busy. Oh. "Okay," he says to Sara. "So let's clear the mess up together, huh?"
"YES!" she squeals, loud enough that there's a clatter of something in the kitchen.
"Not so loud," he admonishes her.
"Sorry," she says, grinning. "I'll help you, okay?"
"Sure, it's your desk. You have to help."
She wants to bounce away immediately but he reminds her to put her colors back into the box and the half-finished band into the drawer for art.
Akira is giving them a longing look over his shoulder. "How much more math have you got?" Jin asks him.
"Two more equations," Akira says. "Five minutes, if I'm fast."
"Don't rush it, and we'll walk slowly," Jin says.
Kuroki-san steps into the kitchen doorframe, a towel in her hands. "Everything all right?"
"We're just going into Sara's room, to put the desk together," Jin explains, almost bowing again.
"Are you sure you're supposed to do that? My daughter didn't mention it."
"I'm sure she just forgot. She usually leaves this sort of thing for me when I visit." When he's not barred from visiting because he's behind on the money.
It's a weird feeling, asking for permission to put his own daughter's desk together. And he catches Kuroki-san's look, too, the one that skims the kids and says, All right, I'm not going to argue in front of them.
"Come on, dad, let's go," Sara says, pulling at him.
"Well, be careful," Kuroki-san says. It would be easier if he could be mad at her.
Sara's room is the smallest, a little smaller than Jin's apartment, and much more purple. Meisa has stacked the desk intestines in one corner and pulled a blanket over it. The desk, Jin finds, is white and also purple.
It's still the same place they moved into when Akira was three and Meisa pregnant again, not realising that Jin's career was really over, or what Sara's timing would do to Meisa's. It's bigger than Meisa can really afford on her current income, and Jin's current income, but they weren't ready to make the kids feel poor and pull them out of their neighborhood.
It's in Jin's drawer of regrets that they didn't buy. He should have bought her a house, back when he still had money, before the year they spent hoping for Jin to make it with another label and burning through the rest of his savings; before the two that followed when any job in a music company would have done as they burned through hers.
"I can do the little ones!" Sara has darted forward and starts pulling the smaller pieces of painted plywood out of the pile. Jin stops her quickly.
"Wait. We need to see first if it's lying like that for a reason." And might fall on her if anything moves. Also, whether there are instructions.
Meisa has tossed all screws and bolts into an old ice cream tub, with the tools wrapped up in an old towel. "Oookay," Jin says when he finds the instructions. "Let's have a look at this."
Sara has a look with him as he spreads the large sheet out on the floor, but she starts shifting on her feet, impatient with the instructions. "Okay, I think we need to make a space for the big part," Jin says. "And put the blanket under it. Can we do that?"
The fact that Sara's been barred from playing in here helps with the space. Sara conscientiously smooths out the blanket on the floor and Jin lifts the desk top and puts it there, purple-side down.
Akira is just slinking through the door.
"Hey!" Jin says. "More hands, excellent."
"Do we have to use the drill?" Akira says. "Maybe I could hold it."
There was no drill in the towel. "Not sure," Jin says. "But there's a big hammer?"
Akira takes it, looking dubious.
"What do I get?" Sara wants to know.
"You get this." Jin hands her the screwdriver. "Now let's see what we do with all this stuff."
Turns out the hammer isn't needed, it's all about screws. He sets Akira to start on drawers, and holds pieces together so Sara can screw them together. She pouts when she concentrates; Jin could stare at her cute frown forever.
"Everything all right in here?" Kuroki-san is standing in the door, smiling as always. Jin, as always, feels caught, though he's not sure at what. At… drawers?
"We're making progress," he reports. He peers across towards Akira's work, which, yeah, also slow, but as perfect as it gets with these things.
"I'm putting the drawer together," Sara says, trying to hold it up for grandma to see, and Jin makes a quick lunge so it doesn't all fall apart and break the wood.
Kuroki-san's face shows a fleeting frown. "Watch you don't hurt yourself with that screwdriver, little one."
"I'm careful," she says. "I'm almost as good as Akira, right, dad?"
Jin gives her a wide smile. "When you're as old as he, you'll be just as good."
"I'm sure when you're ten you'll be much more interested in making nice omurice," Kuroki-san says brightly.
"Omurice is good, too, right?" Jin says, holding two of the short wooden planks at right angles and pointing where the screw should go. Sara nods, and starts poking at things with the screwdriver. Her own fingers were never in danger.
"Please watch your little sister," Kuroki-san says to Akira.
"Yes, grandma, I'll look out for her," Akira says with his head low, and screws another screw.
Jin gently nudges Sara's flailing arm closer to some actual wood and tries to give Meisa's mother a smile. But there's nothing in her gaze that says it even makes a difference, so he turns back to Sara, to the wood on the floor.
It could be worse. His children could know how much he's bowing and scraping, and how grateful he is he even gets to be here.
His children, by the way, are awesome at furniture construction. They talk weekend plans while their drawers progress. Grandma might take them to a pool, Akira says, which is something neither Jin nor Meisa can do with them, even after all these years. He sounds excited and Jin is happy for them, because he's in Meisa's good graces and there's still Monday and Tuesday, all sorts of time because of Kamenashi's money.
Eventually Sara gets bored. She bounces on her knees and twirls the knobs on the drawers, so that Jin starts to fear for fingers and polished plywood alike. "Hey, Sara," he says. "Think you want to go check what grandma is doing? It's not fair I'm getting all the help."
Sara considers this offer. "Think she'll let me put the sauces on?"
"I don't know," Jin says earnestly. "How about we go ask her?" He stands and scoops her up to relatively little protest, and asks Akira, "Think I can leave you alone with these dangerous tools for five minutes?"
Akira weighs that, and the screwdriver, carefully. "I'll try not to poke out my eyes or slash off my head," he says. "But I'm a boy, so I'm safe, you know?"
Jin nods. "It's steam irons you've got to watch out for. Lethal to our kind."
Akira snorts. Jin feels like a very well-behaved dad for not ruffling his hair again.
Kuroki-san is surprised to find them in her kitchen doorway. "We were thinking," Jin says, in an even more conciliatory voice than usual, "that it's really not fair if I get all the help, and we were wondering if there was anything this young lady could do to be of assistance."
"I'm not a lady, I'm just a girl, dad," Sara complains. "You make me sound like I'm a yakuza."
Jin swallows down the grin. Meisa also has views, and she seems to be passing them on well.
"But soon you'll grow up and be a lady, right?" Kuroki-san takes her small hand and leads her to a little footstool which allows her to use the working surface. "Well, you know how clever ladies make a rice ball so it's got a really nice shape?"
Jin watches for a few seconds. Sara is happy; the trick involves water and very, very clean hands, and Kuroki-san is a kind teacher. She's a good grandma. She loves Meisa, and Jin doesn't even know how often they chipped in with money.
He goes back to make sure that his son hasn't disemboweled himself with a screwdriver.
"Everything okay, yeah?" Akira says when Jin comes back to the room which smells of plastic and of woodchip. He's perceptive, he notices things. Jin sometimes wishes he didn't.
"Yeah, cool," he says and sits down across from him. "Rice ball making for little ladies. How about you?"
"Yeah," Akira says. "But I need your help with those, the holes are weird."
Jin is happy to assist.
"My friend Maya's parents are divorced," Akira says as he tightens the screw that seals the parts properly.
"Are they?"
"Yeah. That's three now, in my class." It sounds just like a report about any random school thing. Jin didn't know he was counting.
"Maya's dad never visits, she says. Not even on Sundays. And Yamada-kun's dad moved to Hiroshima and he has new kids now."
Ouch.
"Well, you'll have to be extra nice to Maya then, because it's terrible when you have a dad who's an asshole," Jin says. "And don't use that word when grandma can hear you, okay?"
That helps; that gets a little grin.
"What about Yamada-kun, does he get to go on trips to Hiroshima to see his dad? Go to the island with the tame deer?"
"I... don't know," Akira says. "Well, I guess he visits, because he says the new kids are weird and stuck up, but the girl's kind of pretty." He gives the finished drawer a thump before he puts it down. "But his dad lives with them now."
"I don't think that means he likes them better," Jin says. "He probably misses Yamada-kun. It'll be good if they can spend nice weekends together."
"Yeah, okay," Akira says, and gives Jin a sneaky look.
"I'm not moving anywhere," Jin says, swiping dust off various edges. He can do sneaky looks too, and he catches Akira rolling his eyes.
"Okay," his son says again, a bit flushed.
Right, change of topic. "I think we're almost done," Jin finds; the top and the sides are connected up, the drawers waiting to be fitted in. "Help me turn it over?"
They set it up carefully, and end up looking at the surface, which shows specks of sawdust and dust and sweaty fingerprints. And is very purple.
"I think the girls should clean it," Akira grins, and Jin grabs him to tickle him. He doesn't even fight all that hard when Jin takes a while to let go.
"Don't say that to your sister," Jin says, though, and means it.
Akira rolls his eyes again. But then he peers up at Jin. "Do you mind if we go to the pool with grandma tomorrow?"
"No, of course not! Why would I mind?"
Akira shrugs. "I don't know."
"I'll see you on Monday after school. You'll have a great time tomorrow," Jin promises.
They're done just in time for lunch, too. There's omurice, and Sara has drawn faces on them with the ketchup. Jin and Grandma get hearts beside the faces, and Akira a spider web.
"Soccer ball!" Sara protests, and Jin quickly says that he knew that straight away. Akira says it's beautiful, and he eats carefully around it, and when they're almost done, his phone beeps.
"That's e-mail from mom," Akira says, and looks first at Jin, then his grandmother, uncertain. It's Kuroki-san who nods.
The e-mail is a picture of Meisa in an amazing blue dress, making a funny face in front of the latest hydrogen Roadster.
"She says she is enjoying the show and all the guests are great and we should behave, and, um," Akira reads.
"And what? And what?"
"She'll give us a kiss when we're asleep," Akira concludes, making a face like Meisa asked him to read out loud about girls.
"Your mother works hard," Kuroki-san says without looking at Jin.
"Mom's so pretty," Sara says, but Akira says, "Dad works hard too, he gets really busy."
Kuroki-san glances at Jin, then meticulously scoops up a few grains of rice, balancing them on her spoon. "Well, let's just hope that he continues to find work which allows him to come visit you more often, right?"
For a moment, Jin's stomach flips. That bitch. That bitch and her... her grammar. But she didn't do it, she didn't give him away, just showed him that she could.
And he nods. "I hope so too, Kuroki-san, thank you."
His appetite has disappeared even though this is better than anything he manages for himself. He finishes mostly because the kids might notice, and Sara helped make it. At least it gives him something to do while his blood settles.
Such a good boy these days; a good little boy with his thank-yous and apologies. And isn't that a joke. Maybe someone's even laughing.
"May I ask what it is you are currently doing?" she asks after lunch is finished, when the kids are washing their hands in the bathroom. Sara's voice carries from there.
"I'm singing at some private functions." He thought about this, what he'd say, to anybody. It's a legitimate question. "It looks like it'll continue for a while. I'm looking for additional work too, though."
"Good," she says. "That would be appreciated."
"Yes," he says. "I know."
She stacks the plates together and doesn't look at him, and Jin knows it's not his job to interfere. "She could have had a great life," she says, but it's an old cut, because Jin already knows it's true.
Week 3: Saturday
"You really don't have to stay." Meisa slips into her peach-colored coat and looks guilty. "I thought you wouldn't have time because of your new job now and I really needed someone..."
"It's fine," Jin says for the third time, keeping his voice low too. "Don't worry about it, okay? I don't think they're paying you to be frowny-face stresspuppy."
She laughs. "They're paying me to look like I know about cars." She's the face of a Nissan show-room opening, four days noon to night, and she's really happy about it.
"You look amazing," he says.
"They've got the clothes and the stylist waiting for me there," she grins, hunting for her car keys in the ever messy key drawer in the genkan.
"Still," he says, but leaves it at that.
Then Meisa is ready to go, pushing back her shoulders. "Don't let her..." She makes a face again.
"I'm fine," Jin says. "Now don't be late."
He watches her beautiful legs as she walks down the corridor. There's a kick in her step that wasn't there last week, and it makes his heart lighter. It's been a while since she's had a good gig like this.
Then he steps back inside and steels himself.
"Did mom find her keys?" Sara-chan says from the dining table where she's drawing things.
Akira is doing his homework as Meisa told him, and there wasn't even any wheedling that it could wait till Sunday. "She always looks for them for ages," he contributes.
It used to be Jin always searching for shit but they're too young to remember; it hasn't been his car in five years. "She's on her way," he says. On her way and ready to kick some ass. Okay, he doesn't say that.
"So, Jin-san, will you be staying for lunch then?" his mother-in-law says, perfect polite smile on her lipstick mouth and the sweet tone that triggers Jin's guilt reflex without her even trying.
"If you don't mind," he says with a little bow. "I thought I'd spend the day with the kids."
"Dad can check my homework," Akira says. "I have lots of English stuff."
"Of course I don't mind," she says. "As long as it's not keeping you from your work."
"My work doesn't start till late," he says meekly.
"I drew a guitar, dad," Sara says, and waves him over. Jin gives a small apologetic bow, but it seems his visitor's pass for today has been granted, and Kuroki-san turns back towards the kitchen, where she likes to spend most of her time.
Sara's guitar has three strings and looks like a legless camel.
"Very good, princess," Jin says.
"What should I have next?" she asks him. Clearly she aims to start a band here.
"Drums," Jin says. "That's important. But it might be a bit difficult to draw."
"I can do it," Sara declares, and starts with a bold artist's stroke.
He checks on Akira while she is doing her thing. Turns out the homework is math at the moment and Akira's getting on quite well. Bright boy. "I have to memorize a text for English," he says, peering up. "Can you test me later?"
"Yes, of course," Jin says, and Akira only squirms a little when he ruffles his hair.
"Daaaaad," Sara complains. "My drum sucks."
"Sara-chan," comes a voice from the kitchen. "Don't say that word."
Sara rolls her eyes and Jin has to bite his cheek as he nods. "Listen to your grandma."
"It looks stupid, though," she says. "It's hard." Jin tilts his head and tries to gauge which way round she drew it. "It would be easier at my desk."
"You have a desk now?" Of course, she's that age.
"Not really," she pouts. "It's just a mess, in my room, so I can't play."
"IKEA," Akira supplies, looking up from his math. "Mom started to put it together and then she got busy."
"Oh," Jin says. This sort of thing normally gets left to him. But of course, Meisa thought he was busy. Oh. "Okay," he says to Sara. "So let's clear the mess up together, huh?"
"YES!" she squeals, loud enough that there's a clatter of something in the kitchen.
"Not so loud," he admonishes her.
"Sorry," she says, grinning. "I'll help you, okay?"
"Sure, it's your desk. You have to help."
She wants to bounce away immediately but he reminds her to put her colors back into the box and the half-finished band into the drawer for art.
Akira is giving them a longing look over his shoulder. "How much more math have you got?" Jin asks him.
"Two more equations," Akira says. "Five minutes, if I'm fast."
"Don't rush it, and we'll walk slowly," Jin says.
Kuroki-san steps into the kitchen doorframe, a towel in her hands. "Everything all right?"
"We're just going into Sara's room, to put the desk together," Jin explains, almost bowing again.
"Are you sure you're supposed to do that? My daughter didn't mention it."
"I'm sure she just forgot. She usually leaves this sort of thing for me when I visit." When he's not barred from visiting because he's behind on the money.
It's a weird feeling, asking for permission to put his own daughter's desk together. And he catches Kuroki-san's look, too, the one that skims the kids and says, All right, I'm not going to argue in front of them.
"Come on, dad, let's go," Sara says, pulling at him.
"Well, be careful," Kuroki-san says. It would be easier if he could be mad at her.
Sara's room is the smallest, a little smaller than Jin's apartment, and much more purple. Meisa has stacked the desk intestines in one corner and pulled a blanket over it. The desk, Jin finds, is white and also purple.
It's still the same place they moved into when Akira was three and Meisa pregnant again, not realising that Jin's career was really over, or what Sara's timing would do to Meisa's. It's bigger than Meisa can really afford on her current income, and Jin's current income, but they weren't ready to make the kids feel poor and pull them out of their neighborhood.
It's in Jin's drawer of regrets that they didn't buy. He should have bought her a house, back when he still had money, before the year they spent hoping for Jin to make it with another label and burning through the rest of his savings; before the two that followed when any job in a music company would have done as they burned through hers.
"I can do the little ones!" Sara has darted forward and starts pulling the smaller pieces of painted plywood out of the pile. Jin stops her quickly.
"Wait. We need to see first if it's lying like that for a reason." And might fall on her if anything moves. Also, whether there are instructions.
Meisa has tossed all screws and bolts into an old ice cream tub, with the tools wrapped up in an old towel. "Oookay," Jin says when he finds the instructions. "Let's have a look at this."
Sara has a look with him as he spreads the large sheet out on the floor, but she starts shifting on her feet, impatient with the instructions. "Okay, I think we need to make a space for the big part," Jin says. "And put the blanket under it. Can we do that?"
The fact that Sara's been barred from playing in here helps with the space. Sara conscientiously smooths out the blanket on the floor and Jin lifts the desk top and puts it there, purple-side down.
Akira is just slinking through the door.
"Hey!" Jin says. "More hands, excellent."
"Do we have to use the drill?" Akira says. "Maybe I could hold it."
There was no drill in the towel. "Not sure," Jin says. "But there's a big hammer?"
Akira takes it, looking dubious.
"What do I get?" Sara wants to know.
"You get this." Jin hands her the screwdriver. "Now let's see what we do with all this stuff."
Turns out the hammer isn't needed, it's all about screws. He sets Akira to start on drawers, and holds pieces together so Sara can screw them together. She pouts when she concentrates; Jin could stare at her cute frown forever.
"Everything all right in here?" Kuroki-san is standing in the door, smiling as always. Jin, as always, feels caught, though he's not sure at what. At… drawers?
"We're making progress," he reports. He peers across towards Akira's work, which, yeah, also slow, but as perfect as it gets with these things.
"I'm putting the drawer together," Sara says, trying to hold it up for grandma to see, and Jin makes a quick lunge so it doesn't all fall apart and break the wood.
Kuroki-san's face shows a fleeting frown. "Watch you don't hurt yourself with that screwdriver, little one."
"I'm careful," she says. "I'm almost as good as Akira, right, dad?"
Jin gives her a wide smile. "When you're as old as he, you'll be just as good."
"I'm sure when you're ten you'll be much more interested in making nice omurice," Kuroki-san says brightly.
"Omurice is good, too, right?" Jin says, holding two of the short wooden planks at right angles and pointing where the screw should go. Sara nods, and starts poking at things with the screwdriver. Her own fingers were never in danger.
"Please watch your little sister," Kuroki-san says to Akira.
"Yes, grandma, I'll look out for her," Akira says with his head low, and screws another screw.
Jin gently nudges Sara's flailing arm closer to some actual wood and tries to give Meisa's mother a smile. But there's nothing in her gaze that says it even makes a difference, so he turns back to Sara, to the wood on the floor.
It could be worse. His children could know how much he's bowing and scraping, and how grateful he is he even gets to be here.
His children, by the way, are awesome at furniture construction. They talk weekend plans while their drawers progress. Grandma might take them to a pool, Akira says, which is something neither Jin nor Meisa can do with them, even after all these years. He sounds excited and Jin is happy for them, because he's in Meisa's good graces and there's still Monday and Tuesday, all sorts of time because of Kamenashi's money.
Eventually Sara gets bored. She bounces on her knees and twirls the knobs on the drawers, so that Jin starts to fear for fingers and polished plywood alike. "Hey, Sara," he says. "Think you want to go check what grandma is doing? It's not fair I'm getting all the help."
Sara considers this offer. "Think she'll let me put the sauces on?"
"I don't know," Jin says earnestly. "How about we go ask her?" He stands and scoops her up to relatively little protest, and asks Akira, "Think I can leave you alone with these dangerous tools for five minutes?"
Akira weighs that, and the screwdriver, carefully. "I'll try not to poke out my eyes or slash off my head," he says. "But I'm a boy, so I'm safe, you know?"
Jin nods. "It's steam irons you've got to watch out for. Lethal to our kind."
Akira snorts. Jin feels like a very well-behaved dad for not ruffling his hair again.
Kuroki-san is surprised to find them in her kitchen doorway. "We were thinking," Jin says, in an even more conciliatory voice than usual, "that it's really not fair if I get all the help, and we were wondering if there was anything this young lady could do to be of assistance."
"I'm not a lady, I'm just a girl, dad," Sara complains. "You make me sound like I'm a yakuza."
Jin swallows down the grin. Meisa also has views, and she seems to be passing them on well.
"But soon you'll grow up and be a lady, right?" Kuroki-san takes her small hand and leads her to a little footstool which allows her to use the working surface. "Well, you know how clever ladies make a rice ball so it's got a really nice shape?"
Jin watches for a few seconds. Sara is happy; the trick involves water and very, very clean hands, and Kuroki-san is a kind teacher. She's a good grandma. She loves Meisa, and Jin doesn't even know how often they chipped in with money.
He goes back to make sure that his son hasn't disemboweled himself with a screwdriver.
"Everything okay, yeah?" Akira says when Jin comes back to the room which smells of plastic and of woodchip. He's perceptive, he notices things. Jin sometimes wishes he didn't.
"Yeah, cool," he says and sits down across from him. "Rice ball making for little ladies. How about you?"
"Yeah," Akira says. "But I need your help with those, the holes are weird."
Jin is happy to assist.
"My friend Maya's parents are divorced," Akira says as he tightens the screw that seals the parts properly.
"Are they?"
"Yeah. That's three now, in my class." It sounds just like a report about any random school thing. Jin didn't know he was counting.
"Maya's dad never visits, she says. Not even on Sundays. And Yamada-kun's dad moved to Hiroshima and he has new kids now."
Ouch.
"Well, you'll have to be extra nice to Maya then, because it's terrible when you have a dad who's an asshole," Jin says. "And don't use that word when grandma can hear you, okay?"
That helps; that gets a little grin.
"What about Yamada-kun, does he get to go on trips to Hiroshima to see his dad? Go to the island with the tame deer?"
"I... don't know," Akira says. "Well, I guess he visits, because he says the new kids are weird and stuck up, but the girl's kind of pretty." He gives the finished drawer a thump before he puts it down. "But his dad lives with them now."
"I don't think that means he likes them better," Jin says. "He probably misses Yamada-kun. It'll be good if they can spend nice weekends together."
"Yeah, okay," Akira says, and gives Jin a sneaky look.
"I'm not moving anywhere," Jin says, swiping dust off various edges. He can do sneaky looks too, and he catches Akira rolling his eyes.
"Okay," his son says again, a bit flushed.
Right, change of topic. "I think we're almost done," Jin finds; the top and the sides are connected up, the drawers waiting to be fitted in. "Help me turn it over?"
They set it up carefully, and end up looking at the surface, which shows specks of sawdust and dust and sweaty fingerprints. And is very purple.
"I think the girls should clean it," Akira grins, and Jin grabs him to tickle him. He doesn't even fight all that hard when Jin takes a while to let go.
"Don't say that to your sister," Jin says, though, and means it.
Akira rolls his eyes again. But then he peers up at Jin. "Do you mind if we go to the pool with grandma tomorrow?"
"No, of course not! Why would I mind?"
Akira shrugs. "I don't know."
"I'll see you on Monday after school. You'll have a great time tomorrow," Jin promises.
They're done just in time for lunch, too. There's omurice, and Sara has drawn faces on them with the ketchup. Jin and Grandma get hearts beside the faces, and Akira a spider web.
"Soccer ball!" Sara protests, and Jin quickly says that he knew that straight away. Akira says it's beautiful, and he eats carefully around it, and when they're almost done, his phone beeps.
"That's e-mail from mom," Akira says, and looks first at Jin, then his grandmother, uncertain. It's Kuroki-san who nods.
The e-mail is a picture of Meisa in an amazing blue dress, making a funny face in front of the latest hydrogen Roadster.
"She says she is enjoying the show and all the guests are great and we should behave, and, um," Akira reads.
"And what? And what?"
"She'll give us a kiss when we're asleep," Akira concludes, making a face like Meisa asked him to read out loud about girls.
"Your mother works hard," Kuroki-san says without looking at Jin.
"Mom's so pretty," Sara says, but Akira says, "Dad works hard too, he gets really busy."
Kuroki-san glances at Jin, then meticulously scoops up a few grains of rice, balancing them on her spoon. "Well, let's just hope that he continues to find work which allows him to come visit you more often, right?"
For a moment, Jin's stomach flips. That bitch. That bitch and her... her grammar. But she didn't do it, she didn't give him away, just showed him that she could.
And he nods. "I hope so too, Kuroki-san, thank you."
His appetite has disappeared even though this is better than anything he manages for himself. He finishes mostly because the kids might notice, and Sara helped make it. At least it gives him something to do while his blood settles.
Such a good boy these days; a good little boy with his thank-yous and apologies. And isn't that a joke. Maybe someone's even laughing.
"May I ask what it is you are currently doing?" she asks after lunch is finished, when the kids are washing their hands in the bathroom. Sara's voice carries from there.
"I'm singing at some private functions." He thought about this, what he'd say, to anybody. It's a legitimate question. "It looks like it'll continue for a while. I'm looking for additional work too, though."
"Good," she says. "That would be appreciated."
"Yes," he says. "I know."
She stacks the plates together and doesn't look at him, and Jin knows it's not his job to interfere. "She could have had a great life," she says, but it's an old cut, because Jin already knows it's true.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-05 04:00 pm (UTC)Sara is so cute, and Akira is an observant little boy <3
Ouch the words from Grandma are harsh, really, like a knife >______<. But that's understandable nee?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:03 pm (UTC)Glad you like Sara and Akira, we're pretty unsure of ourselves when writing kids. :)
Thank you, as always, for your comment! ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-05 05:14 pm (UTC)I really hope that Jin will never end up like this in real life. What about HIS parents in this story? Will they ever show up?
Somehow I like the Kame chapters better. They are unsettling in a different, much more
pleasant way. Seeing him tortured by Kame is fun. ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:02 pm (UTC)Well, Kame mentioned Jin's mom. She'll show up at some point too. She worries about Jin but there's not much she can do either.
Of course you like the Kame chapters better! KAME IS IN THEM!!! :p -- No, we get what you mean. They're unsettling but rarely painful. We like them better too because we are sensitive little flowers. >_> (You like Jin tortured, huh? FANCY THAT. *g*)
Thank you for commenting and wondering. :DDD
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-05 09:02 pm (UTC)I like a lot how you reveal the past with few lines, when Jin is looking at things and remembering how everything started once and ruined after. Maybe I'm wrong in my understanding Meisa's mother pain and indignation, because it is obvious that Jin's live wasnt and isn't simple and nice. He is apologizing and he is bowing his head, because he feels the guilt, but maybe everything wasn't just his fault. Meisa has the brains too, I guess >_> why all the blame on Jin and why he feels so miserable ( this is rhetorical question because I'm rolling in angst and all the thoughts are changing one another in my head).
They can't be at the public places with their kids. The fame is so cruel. Especially the after-fame effect. his kids are the cutest and I feel sorry for the boy, who is big enough to understand everything and feel insecure.
It feels like every person find it necessary to punish Jin because of some step he has made once, ruining his own life and making Meisa and the kids follow him.
I love how realistic this story is, I enjoyed reading it a lot and rereading my fav parts also ( I'm weird like this)
Thank you a lot for this lovely part and for the ending of this part that I enjoyed reading!
My relationships with angst are special, I love angst and enjoy reading it a lot!!
Can't wait for the next part :Dd
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:03 pm (UTC)the feelings of Meisa's mother is so understandable and not like Jin doesnt get it, because she is right ( in my opinion)
That's great, that's what we were aiming at. :)
As for whose fault, well, it's complicated, but since Meisa was having kids, it was really up to Jin to make sure they could live properly. But there'll be more on that.
Yes, poor Akira, he's a thoughtful boy and he gets anxious. Luckily Jin is good at reassuring him.
Most people don't actually want to punish Jin. Maybe Meisa's mom does, a bit, but Meisa's just trying to survive, and other people, like landlords, they have their own concerns and lives and don't really care about Jin, that's all. That's kind of legitimate.
Glad you like the 'realism', that's what we were going for. Well. Within limits because we don't want this to be real!!
Thank you for your lovely lovely comment! ♥ ♥ ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-05 09:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:03 pm (UTC)Thank you for commenting! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-05 10:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:04 pm (UTC)Jin would have to do a lot better for Meisa's mom to change her opinion of him. In her defense, she's been watching things go down the drain for five years now, getting more and more disillusioned and pissed off and worried.
(But no, we don't like her either.)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-05 11:34 pm (UTC)It's a weird feeling, asking for permission to put his own daughter's desk together. And he catches Kuroki-san's look, too, the one that skims the kids and says, All right, I'm not going to argue in front of them.
Yeah, really. -_-' I really love the way you made Meisa's mom ahaha, kinda like the step mom from hell, but in this case it's TOTALLY understandable, if I were in her place, I wouldn't like Jin very much either. ^^;; It's good though at least, that she keeps her cool in front of the kids, mostly.
"Well, let's just hope that he continues to find work which allows him to come visit you more often, right?"
For a moment, Jin's stomach flips. That bitch. That bitch and her... her grammar. But she didn't do it, she didn't give him away, just showed him that she could.
#TEAM GRANDMA KUROKI. It was a bit harsh tho, but, I mean, I totally get it. It's obvious she said it to bother Jin so I understand too why he got heated up about it, but well, he is mostly to blame for le current situation. It would be terribly unrealistic if she all warm and friendly after everything.
The part though, where Akira mentions the other kids in his class that have divorced parents, that made me sad, it's almost like he's keeping count to justify that divorce isn't all that weird. And it makes me even sadder that, seeing how the other kids' fathers are distant from them, that he's afraid Jin might leave too. ;_; POOR BB.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:04 pm (UTC)Jo keeps going on about how weird she feels to be mixing kidfic with... the other thing. Solo shrugs and is just 'hey, whatever works'. :p
kinda like the step mom from hell, but in this case it's TOTALLY understandable, if I were in her place, I wouldn't like Jin very much either.
That's perfect, then. We don't like her, but we did want people to understand where she's coming from. Seems like that worked. :) You can identify with her until/unless Jin redeems himself! *g*
Akira is way too perceptive for his own good. Thankfully Jin can put his mind at rest.
Thank you as usual for your lovely comment. (And we're happy the camel is funny. Sara is an ARTIST and should be appreciated! >_>)
♥♥♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 12:28 am (UTC)He watches her beautiful legs as she walks down the corridor. There's a kick in her step that wasn't there last week, and it makes his heart lighter. It's been a while since she's had a good gig like this.
I like how Jin clearly knows her. It's all about the little things. It's not like he wouldn't care at all.
It's a weird feeling, asking for permission to put his own daughter's desk together.
;;________; It's so cold.
"My friend Maya's parents are divorced," Akira says as he tightens the screw that seals the parts properly.
"Are they?"
"Yeah. That's three now, in my class." It sounds just like a report about any random school thing. Jin didn't know he was counting.
Ahhh, Akira seems like a bright boy. A bit too bright for his parents to protect him from the world's downsides.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:06 pm (UTC)like how Jin clearly knows her. It's all about the little things. It's not like he wouldn't care at all.
That's great to hear, thank you. :D
Akira's smart -- writing him is fun. :-) And this stuff is on his mind a lot.
Thank you for the feedback!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 01:12 am (UTC)i've missed angst lol this is very good. Can't wait for another day.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:06 pm (UTC)But you've come to the right boat for angst. *g* Thank you for commenting!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 03:25 am (UTC)I didn't know this FIC was happening. I didn't know at all... then I decided to have a little stroll down LJ-land and... THIS. *_*
OMG
Thank you for posting this!
Even if I am a little bit down, because, poor Jin :(
Thanks for sharing!!!! :D :D :D
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:08 pm (UTC)Poor Jin, yes. We feel really bad. Except when we're having fun. Then we're feeling badder.
Thank you for this cool comment, and glad you found the fic, it's lovely to hear from you again!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 04:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:08 pm (UTC)He even agreed becoming the great Kamenashi's personal singing toy just so he could give Meisa money for the kids..
LOL! Very true. He spares no effort!
Thank you very much for this, we're happy you liked it, bouncy and bam and all!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 10:32 am (UTC)especially jin and akira's conversation about his classmates..akira is a mature kid but he is still a kid that needs reassurance that his dad won't disappear in them like his other classmates with the same situation..
the three of them building sara's table is cute..
i want to find fault in meisa's mom and her way of speaking to jin but i somewhat get where she's coming from (and so does jin)..every mom wants the best for her daughter..and it seems like meisa's career also took a hit during the last 10 years or she's not as busy as before..
its sad that jin needs to be updated on child support before he can spend time with his kids..i think jin himself thinks that aside from it being his responsibility, having money to give to meisa for his kids make him feel a bit worthy to see them..
thanks for the update!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:18 pm (UTC)Jin does get where Meisa's mom is coming from - after all he has no high opinion of himself and he knows he's the one with whom Meisa's problems started. You're right, the break she took to have Sara didn't help her career.
The thing with the child support is very complex. Of course he wants to pay it anyway, if he can, he's very responsible that way. The reason he doesn't get to see them when he doesn't pay is nothing to do with his willingness to pay, it's ... different, and complex, and we hope to get it across at some point.
Thank you for this insightful comment!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 10:34 am (UTC)But it's so heartbreaking >: I'm loving it.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:16 pm (UTC)YOU ARE SUCH AN M. But we love it. *g*
Glad you liked more kid excursions. <3
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:00 pm (UTC)It's painful to see Jin under the scrutiny and power of his ex-mother in law, having her keep making jabs at him, making it clear who calls the shots. I mean, sure, he fucked up, but he's not the only adult who made a choice. He likely didn't even know just how bad things would turn out. Neither did Meisa, but then again, adult. So I do think Kuroki-san is wrong, and I don't like her much for how she treats Jin, but she's also, and I like how you do that, relatable. Because as a parent, I guess that's usually the side you take.
Kuroki-san is a kind teacher. She's a good grandma. She loves Meisa, and Jin doesn't even know how often they chipped in with money.
That's the thing that makes all this so hard to read. She's not a monster. She's bitter her daughter doesn't have the financially stable life, the career, and the long-lasting marriage she might've otherwise had. To anyone but Jin, Kuroki-san might very well be a lovely person.
"Your mother works hard," Kuroki-san says without looking at Jin.
Still, so mean and passive-aggressive. ;____;
What I liked best:
He should have bought her a house, back when he still had money, before the year they spent hoping for Jin to make it with another label and burning through the rest of his savings; before the two that followed when any job in a music company would have done as they burned through hers.
Idk, just, the way it's worded and how it flows, how there's years in just one sentence, and a whole bucket of sadness and regret.
Again, the kids are adorable. Jin with the kids is just adorable. *-*
Thank you! ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:22 pm (UTC)We also had a certain kind of fun writing Jin's MIL; fun as in, it's not nice to torture him like that (really! as opposed to other kinds of torture) but thinking ourselves into her shoes, it was also interesting to see Jin from her POV, and we really wanted to give her... her due, in a way, even if we disagree with her and think she's unnecessarily cruel. She's just taking 'Meisa's side' (even if Meisa wouldn't necessarily agree that that's what her side looks like).
Thank you for that comment on that favourite line. We won't blab on too much, but it's very appreciated for ~reasons. :-)
Jin is making us write kidfic. Lots of it. That has to be some sort of evil, that has to mean he's got coming what we like to do to him...
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 07:56 pm (UTC)I like that Meisa is cheerful and trying to be optimistic and make the best of things no matter how the past few years have been, while her mum has probably seen enough to stop getting her hopes up. In a way, when the backlash began for the whole JinxMeisa scandal (IRL), I didn't agree with all the people who just kept blaming Jin (or Meisa depending on what site I was on), and I really thought they both had a hand in destroying their careers. Reading this though, and how much of the blame Kuroki-san places on Jin for ruining Meisa's life and career, I kind of think she has a point. Meisa's career took a hit from this scandal but Jin's career had stopped being "stellar" and moved into "vague" and "uncertain" pretty much as soon as he left KAT-TUN. So maybe Kuroki-san has a point, and Meisa was the one who lost more.
I think the most painful parts are the non-Kame chapters because Jin's always so careful and afraid of doing the wrong thing. It's like he knows he's made lots of bad decisions and he's not even sure anymore if he can do something and have other people approve. Of course with Kame, Jin gives as good as he's got becausehe doesn't think he owes Kame anything, the opposite to how he feels abt Meisa+family.
Anyway, this chapter made me think and reflect too hard and now I'm having trouble separating reality from fiction! I feel like I should buy something and show my support for Meisa just so they have more savings to burn through when the time comes!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-07 02:00 pm (UTC)So maybe Kuroki-san has a point, and Meisa was the one who lost more.
Kuroki-san is also a little biased. Understandably so, being Meisa's mom, she's just not entirely... objective. (Also, we figure the gender issue just doesn't help Jin here. Even if they both wrecked their careers to the same degree, Jin would always be seen as the one 'failing' to provide for his family, the way Meisa wouldn't. Even in Jin's own eyes.)
Author's editorialising: this Jin's also had bad luck. Some risky choices, but also bad luck, where things could have gone okay but didn't, where someone could have given him a break but didn't. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN REALITY. T___T
Of course with Kame, Jin gives as good as he's got because he doesn't think he owes Kame anything
We totally dig what you get out of this contrast between the Kame parts and the non-Kame parts. :DDD
I feel like I should buy something and show my support for Meisa just so they have more savings to burn through when the time comes!
This is possibly the cutest comment we have gotten yet in reponse to this story. *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-06 09:08 pm (UTC)Kids usually weirds me out in Akame fics because they're such a throwback from fandom reality, but here it's just perfect. But it also makes me even more curious about the kinky turtle and how he's going to affect Jin. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I can't wait for more! <3
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-07 02:01 pm (UTC)HAHAHHA let your guard down, did you? >_>
I need some Jin-news that isn't from when he exits a club looking like he hasn't eaten for weeks
It's just the lack of sleep due to baby, and Kame being too busy to cook for him. 4REALZ. #nodnod
But it also makes me even more curious about the kinky turtle and how he's going to affect Jin.
We are just going to smile enigmatically.
Thank you for this, the feedback's much appreciated. And this will totally not happen.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-07 03:49 am (UTC)Its not exactly easy to be the "thank-you" boy I believe especially when most of us see him as a person who doesn't have those words in his vocabulary or actions in his manners. I think you have very realistically brought to light what it would be like if Jin really became bankrupt and divorced. The time spent with his children IS something Jin treasures ALOT and he is willing to pretty much do anything to be able to afford it.
I am glad you wrote the scene between Akira and Jin which made it even more real. I hope Meisa doesn't end up moving away from Tokyo, well atleast in this story cause Jin has promised his son he won't. And Akira's defending of Jin to his grandma seems like something kids of divorced parents would do.
Obviously like many of the other readers who read this chapter, I came off hating the granny even though I do think she was just being a typical Mum. And when she said "She could have had a great life," I felt like telling her that Jin could have had a great life too. If only he had informed Johnny before marrying or maybe if he hadn't married at all.
Thanks for the update!~ Next would be akame time, no?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-07 02:31 pm (UTC)Jin adores his kids, and we think he'd still value them over any sort of career. It's just his bad luck that it really turned into such a disaster.
We're happy you find Akira believable, that's really good to know. In general your comments on the kids and the 'family life' pleased us a lot. :D As for the grandma, yeah, she has a point but she's still being a bit cruel. At least she is sweet with the kids...
Akame time... hmmm, let us remain unpredictable. :p Thank you for this lovely comment!!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-10 04:09 pm (UTC)And Akira is so clever and sneaky, I just love him! Sara's just an adorable little lady, I love her! I LOVE THEM BOTH!
And then you end it like that. Like, sheesh. Not just poor Jin, poor Meisa. Poor Meisa's mom, in some way. Poor Meisa's family. I guess poor Jin's family too, then.
Oh, I don't know why but I absolutely loved the "You look amazing" line from Jin. It was just... it's simple, but I thought it was just a really great compliment. I never considered the possibility that, perhaps, he's not really over her. That makes things even worse, sadder. :(
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-10 07:21 pm (UTC)Really glad you like the kids, we like them too. :D
POOR EVERYBODY! T____T
He does mean it as a compliment! Also, he's got eyes. >_>
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-20 08:47 am (UTC)"It would be easier at my desk."
God, this is just… this cute and absolutely strange child logic. *g*
But it kind of sucks how Meisa’s mom is monitoring them. Telling Jin she didn’t know if he was supposed to put Sara’s desk together. When it’s just nice he wants to do that. When he still wants to be a proper dad for them and still cares and just wants to help Meisa. It must be hard for him feeling like he has to prove himself over and over. But it’s good how he still does and how he maybe doesn’t care much. Good for him, too.
AND OMG PURPLE ROOM. *___* okay, I just had to get that out. >__> #freak
It’s sad how Jin’s reflecting on the mistakes the made. That they didn’t spend their money too wisely at times. That maybe they weren’t all ready to admit they were close to being poor and having to live a different lifestyle.
Touching though how Akira still has the desire to tell Jin things. To ask for Jin’s advice and opinion. And how Jin is being there for him. I think that’s good for Akira. Being reassured Jin won’t move away or just stop visiting. Guess it was hard for him, too when Jin wasn’t allowed to come by. Does Akira actually talk to Meisa about these things as well? Or is it a father-son thing?
But god, Meisa’s mother. As if it’s not hard for Jin. As if he wants to be in that kind of situation. That must suck for him. Her blaming him and her judging him. It’s probably nothing unusual in that kind of situation. Just so unfair.
And by the way: How do you realized that very well organized women wrote this fic? The guy in there reads the instructions first. :P
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-20 07:59 pm (UTC)It is hard for him that grandma is there. And she is quite hard on him. But from her POV, Meisa was doing just fine before that dude came around. >.<
LOL! What's the deal with the purple room? Are you very pro-purple or virulently anti-purple? *g*
That maybe they weren’t all ready to admit they were close to being poor and having to live a different lifestyle.
Yeah. :-/ The sad thing is, he also just didn't know. He couldn't just suddenly switch to living like a pauper when he still had to maintain connections in the biz; he just didn't know he wouldn't make it anymore. *sigh*
That, and moving your kids from a three bedroom high-privacy new condo to some rathole, or at least mousehole, would be tough.
Does Akira actually talk to Meisa about these things as well? Or is it a father-son thing?
To a large degree this is a father-son thing. Because Jin's the one who moved out. But also because they're really close, for people who don't see each other all the time. And Akira is a very manly manchild who prefers to brood instead of oversharing anyway. *g*
How do you realized that very well organized women wrote this fic? The guy in there reads the instructions first. :P
T______________________T #fail In our defense, we figure when his KIDS are involved, and his daughter's precious purple desk and things might fall on his KIDS' heads, even Jin might read the instructions.... meep!