9 1/2 Weeks - 11 - (Week 4: Monday)
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Week 4: Monday
The plastic bag clinks against Jin's legs as he stops at the curb.
It's Monday night, he's had a good day's sleep after his shifts, and he's shaved and decently dressed. There's no reason he should feel like a burglar scoping out the residential area.
Maybe it'll help if he stops looking over his shoulder.
He's still not sure how to tackle this, only that trying costs nothing, nothing except the train fare. It would help if he had a better idea what to say. Once upon a time, whining would have worked. But he was cuter then, with a lot less wear and tear. Now he doubts it'll get him past the front door.
Right, pretend to be an adult then. He takes a breath and steps up to the polished row of doorbells, with the security camera glaring down on him. Presses one, and feels his stomach do a little flip.
Which is just ridiculous.
"Yes, hello?" the voice comes, and then, as the video must have registered, "Akanishi?"
*~*~*
The noiseless elevator closes behind him. It's so noiseless it's almost creepy. His beer bottles clink again when he steps out, and now where to... Three doors on the floor, far apart, but one's just a crack open. Hey, Jin was already on camera! And is really not a burglar!
The door opens wider as Jin comes closer. "This is a surprise," Nakamaru says.
"Hey," Jin says, tries to shrug and smile. "You know me..." Like an old language he used to be more fluent in.
Nakamaru looks him over; Jin knows what's happening, because he's doing it too. How much older, did he get fat, how different...
"Well, come in," Nakamaru says, perfectly polite. "Good to see you."
He doesn't look much different. But he was always the one would could pull off the middle-aged respectable look, even when they were twenty. He didn't get fat. He's wearing a long-sleeved shirt now, and there's no aircon on in his apartment. It's immaculately tidy. Jin glimpses a home office past a half-open door, and then they're in the lounge.
Years and years ago, they had a party in Nakamaru's old apartment, and Kame was sick in an aquarium that stood in the far corner, and they spent two hours trying to rescue the fish, and they weren't invited back. There's no aquarium here.
It's all sustainable fair trade furniture and Jin gets to sit on a wicker couch that hurts his ass.
"Can I offer you some tea, perhaps?" Nakamaru says.
Jin lifts the bag. "Sorry, I forgot. I brought beer." Kame's beer, beer Kame brought him and they drank after. After Jin had him in his mouth. "Should still be cold. Ish."
For a moment Nakamaru just stares at the bottles, and Jin half expects him to say that he's gone off booze along with energy waste and upholstery, but then takes one of the bottles and twists off the cap.
"Thank you," he says.
"You're welcome." They clink the bottles' butts vaguely.
The first sip is odd, like deja-vu, when he's had plenty of beer in his life. Next time will be more beer. He runs his tongue over his lips, and it's a curious memory.
He starts a bit when Nakamaru says, "So if I may ask, how is your family?"
So they do that for a while. Fortunately Jin's mother is fine, and Meisa is fine, and Nakamaru's parents are in excellent health, and his youngest sister is pregnant but in good health, and his middle sister had to move to Kanazawa, and Jin's daughter is a lovely girl and Jin's son is shy and responsible and top of his class in English. Saying that actually makes Jin smile.
"That is good to hear," Nakamaru says, nodding along. "Very good indeed. I'm glad things are well."
"And what about you," Jin says. "Are you serious with anyone?" He hasn't seen any signs, but then whatever girl Nakamaru would date would probably not leave her bra hanging over the back of the wicker couch. There's nothing else either, no pictures, the place is blank of any... as blank as Nakamaru's face.
"No."
Whoops. That was a bit... Jin drinks his beer and wonders when that became such a loaded question.
But not like he can't sympathize. He makes an apologetic face. "Yeah. Me neither, actually. You know, after... it's been years now."
Nakamaru watches him with that same blank face. "Yes, it must be hard after a divorce, I can imagine," he says after a moment. Drinks some beer too, politely.
This isn't going too well.
"Sorry," Jin says. "I didn't mean anything by it. I was just asking, it made sense at the time." Or did Nakamaru become gay at some point, too?
Suddenly Nakamaru sighs, takes a deeper swig of beer, and leans back in the horrible healthy armchair. He looks older and more relaxed at the same time. Studying Jin, he snorts.
"What?"
"My apologies. I just realized you'd probably be the world's least likely undercover reporter."
The back of Jin's neck prickles uncomfortably. He's not undercover, exactly, but his life's definitely taken a turn for unlikely. "Sounds like an epiphany," he mumbles.
"I couldn't help wondering if you might be sniffing around for belated scandal tidbits," Nakamaru says. "But, well. Sorry."
It makes Jin grin despite himself, despite the fact that he is sniffing around, even if it's not quite the same. "Piss off."
Nakamaru shrugs. "You have to admit that a visit from you after all this time is surprising enough to make one look for an explanation." And that, despite the conciliatory smile, is a question.
Jin fiddles with his bottle. "Yeah, I know. I kind of... I've been thinking about the old days more, recently." Completely true, too. "And I was thinking, it's kind of sad we all lost track of each other like that. And, well. I've got more time on my hands than I used to." All of it is true.
Nakamaru purses his considerable lips. "You weren't exactly one for keeping in touch, I would say."
Jin shrugs. "There was a time that was best for everyone, I figured."
Nakamaru knows that's true, too. He also knows that Jin's just shit at it, because he knows Jin, because they go back years, and suddenly Jin feels so glad to see him, him and his stupid ergo-eco couch and his big nose.
"I have to admit you have a point there, " Nakamaru says.
Jin watches him take another deep swig. That bottle's finished. He fishes the next one out of the bottle. "I don't even know what you're doing these days," he says.
Nakamaru takes his beer, and gives him a small smile. Age has made him smoother, too.
"Well, I'm actually using my degree. I'm consulting on environmental issues. Liaising between companies and action groups, that kind of thing. I also," and he bows his head a little, "think I got out with more of a parachute than you did. The last few albums set me up all right."
Yeah. It was a good time for KAT-TUN, they were really ramping it up, one member or the other constantly on TV. Even Jin heard about the ticket prices in 2017. A good time to make tons of money; a weird time to leave.
"You sounded like you were glad to get out, anyway," Jin says. Not prodding or anything. Just fact, right?
But Nakamaru goes silent. Stares at his bottle. It takes a while before he says, "I sure did."
Jin has another drink, trying to shrug off the uncomfortable prickle of embarrassment. He's not good at this. Nakamaru looks closed off, like any moment he'll be asking Jin to leave.
"How long you've been living here?" Jin asks, the first small talk, harmless question that pops into his head, and even that makes suspicion flicker over Nakamaru's face. Damn.
But he says, "I bought it three years ago."
Jin sits still; waits. Looks very innocent, or so he hopes.
Nakamaru's eyes narrow thoughtfully. "You know, I have a nice Cognac, kindly given to me by a valuable Hokkaido client whom I helped contact somebody in the Pyrenees. I haven't yet had an occasion to bring it out. Do you think you might be persuaded to sample some of it?"
Oh yes, Jin might indeed. He's having more booze this week than he did last year, or so it feels. But he fancies some anyway. He's not getting kicked out just yet.
"Thanks," he says when Nakamaru hands him shiny brown liquid in a matte recycled glass.
*~*~*
"I could have a dog now," Nakamaru says, gesturing around. He leans his head back, his legs sprawling. "But, I don't know." He upends his glass with the delicious congnac and sighs. "Opinions on the appropriateness of pets are very divided in the ecological community, you know. It's hard…"
"I couldn't," Jin says. "My place is a rathole."
Nakamaru laughs quietly. "Rats make very good pets, despite their reputation. They're clean, intelligent..." Then he blinks. "I'm very sorry, that was insensitive."
"No problem," Jin says, having a tiny sip. He holds up the bottle questioningly.
"Oh, all right," Nakamaru says, watching the gold drop into his glass. It's his fourth. He squints. "Of course, rats would go in a cage. Which is even more of a concern, when you think about it."
"Well, pets are nice," Jin says. He's at least got more of an opinion on this than on the organic spirits from organic grapes in organic fields they discussed over glasses one through three. He counted. "My daughter also tells me rats are cute."
"They're also actively prosocial," Nakamaru says, taking another sip. "In experiments, they have demonstrated altruistic behavior to other rats."
"Some humans could learn from that," Jin says, lightly, just to get them back on the track of actual, you know, life.
"That is unfortunately very true." A bigger sip, and then he's looking into his glass again. Jin's glass is almost empty, too; he tried to stay sober but it didn't work, was too slow. So he goes for a refill and tops Nakamaru up again too.
"But then again," Nakamaru says, "on the other side of the scale you get ducks. Very unpleasant flosses. I mean, fellows."
Jin giggles. The booze. Okay, ducks. It's inconvenient but it's funny.
He tries to stay focused through ducks and their perversions. They can't be doing too bad if Nakamaru's landed at the pervy stuff.
"That swan," Nakamaru sighs. "I think... it was after my ribbons."
"Your ribbons?" Jin pictures ponies. No, that can't be right.
"Uniform jacket," Nakamaru says. His eyes are a little glassy. "You know. It was... wow..." He makes an astonished face. "I don't remember why I was wearing it."
"Do you still collect that stuff?" Jin asks.
"Not really," Nakamaru says. "Well, sometimes. But for a while, I had too many other things on my mind. And I was no longer wearing them at concerts. I mean, I had no concerts. Because of... and didn't want to be noticed in public… it was all sad. And I got prara— paranoid too, so, sure you understand..." He trails off.
It's a heavy silence, full of old... stuff. And cognac vapour. "I didn't think I'd miss it," Jin says. Concerts. Lights. Maybe the cognac was a bad idea. "Just, the noise. The life."
Nakamaru meets his eyes, and through the soft focus nostalgia comes a more awake stare. Curiosity. "I read about your divorce," he says. "I'm very sorry."
"Yeah, well." Jin shrugs and refills Nakamaru's glass.
"What happened? Did you have an affair?"
"No!" Why on earth would he? But his outrage dies down quickly when it seems Nakamaru isn't even embarrassed.
"Did she?"
"No." He's still got all the knee-jerk sulking, shutting down, not your business reflexes. But then he takes a breath. You don't get something for nothing, and memory lane isn't a one way street. "No, it was… it just didn't work. It was complicated."
"Because you got fired?"
Jin shrugs again. "That didn't help." It wasn't the reason. But all the reasons started there. "I guess we were great when it was all going okay. We just weren't strong enough for the really shitty parts."
Shitty parts like Jin out of work for months, Jin and Akira and the baby at home, Meisa working when she could, struggling in a business not mindful of mothers with a family.
He has a sip of the booze and it burns, burns deep. God, he can't get drunk. Not more drunk. But it burns.
"I'm sorry," Nakamaru says again.
"She married… I think she married a guy she could share stuff with." He's never told this to anyone, and he's not sure he's putting it right, but Nakamaru looks like something makes sense. "When we both worked, and we both looked after the kids… that was great, she was happy I wanted to change diapers. I just don't think she was ready to feel like the guy in the household quite so much."
He's thought about it a lot. And there was more to it, things like the kids always coming to him when they wanted stuff, Jin taking their side too much, I don't want to be bad evil mom all the time. She was crying and angry when she flung that at him. It still hurts him now, because she's a great mom.
"And the shittier it got, the more I spent time with the kids, that was something I was good at and I loved it. But she had to deal with me being down and angry and useless while the kids were all, Daddy is the greatest…"
He tried to make up for it, but in the end the more he tried to please her, the worse it got. Nobody wants to fuck the pathetic guy, and nobody needs him hanging around the house either.
"That sounds very hard," Nakamaru says in a quiet voice, still and attentive, thinking through half a bottle of golden booze. Jin takes a deep, deep breath. "We all knew you would make a great father, so it's very sad when that… gets complicated."
It was such a horrible time. He'd never thought it could get any worse. He didn't think he'd get this much into his sad sorry life tonight either, but turns out he doesn't really mind.
"She said I cared so much more about the kids than the marriage," he says. "And she was right, and it wasn't fair, and I wish I'd paid more attention. I wish I'd done a lot of things differently."
Nakamaru takes a breath almost as deep as Jin's. "Don't we all."
Indeed.
"But you are in touch with your family now, are you not? It would be…" He looks genuinely worried for Jin and Jin feels touched.
"I see them," Jin says. When he can, when he has work. "Meisa's good. We're not at war or anything."
Nakamaru looks relieved.
"Are you in touch with the others?" Jin asks, perfectly easy, and it's clear enough who he means.
Nakamaru's face looks pinched. "No. Given the manner of my departure…"
Jin holds his breath and hopes Nakamaru doesn't see. "I admit I'm curious what really happened," he says. "I mean, what really happened."
Nakamaru blinks at him. Then he breaks into the widest, dorkiest grin. "I bet you are." But he's not just drunk. It's their history, and Jin's got a place in it; a right to it.
"It seemed pretty out of the blue. And I caught some of it, but, you know. That was when things were so bad with Meisa, right before she kicked me out, and I was a mess. I didn't know the details."
Nakamaru looks at him owlishly. "No," he says, slowly. "I guess that's... You wouldn't know the details, nobody knew the details."
That sounds more worrying than Jin had even thought. But surely Kame didn't... "It's just..." He's looking for words. "You know Kamenashi and me, we had our issues. But for him to be the reason that you quit at a time like that..." His tongue's a little thick but the fact that he's getting places, making progress, helps like a cup of strong coffee.
"What, you didn't buy the 'strained working atmosphere' and the 'stifling ambition'?" Nakamaru's eyebrows rise high, waggle tipsily. "And what else was it, oh, 'lack of integrity', yes."
"But he's always been a bossy little bitch, not like that was news," Jin says, the memory bright and sharp. "He was always... burning."
Nakamaru laughs quietly into his glass. "Hmmmm," he says. And then he empties it. "Yeah. I know. We know." He sighs and the impossible chair creaks as he sprawls more comfortably. "No, all that was just the official show. I got myself into a slightly unfat— unfortunate situation, and it was..." He takes a breath, focusing. "It was suggested to me that it would be better for me on a general level if I withdrew from KAT-TUN and the agency." He smirks proudly at having gotten that out in one go. But Jin's blinking, and maybe he's understanding wrong.
"Kame forced you out?"
"No. Not him."
"Then who? Management? Johnny?"
"Not Johnny," Nakamaru says. There's something glazed to his stare. "But something like that, yes."
"I didn't remember anything in the papers..." Though they've established Jin was busy getting kicked out by his wife and being unemployed, so who knows.
"Because I went along with the suggestion." His hands, elegant as always, are unsteady as he pours them both another drink. "I guess I shouldn't even be telling you this."
Jin sips carefully, wishing he had actual coffee. This is starting to freak him out. "What did you actually do?"
Nakamaru gulps his down, Jin's not even prodding anymore. "I met a girl."
Jin just stares. It can't be. It can't be that fucking same story, not six years after Jin, with the fans old enough to deal and KAT-TUN giving Arashi a run for their money. That is just fucking stupid.
Nakamaru stares right back, like he didn't even notice the parallel. "She was great. And exciting. And we did exciting things. Some of them, I shouldn't have been doing."
Shit. Not even Jin— this feels bad. "I guess... that wasn't bungee jumping," he says; tries a smile.
"Cocaine," Nakamaru says. He doesn't look that drunk now. "Not often. But somehow someone at the agency heard about it."
And made him resign. And made him— wait a minute. "So what was all that stuff about Kame? What did he do?"
It's the first time Nakamaru looks as awkwardly embarrassed as Jin remembers him. "He did nothing."
"Nothing," Jin echoes.
"I mean, nothing wrong," Nakamaru says quickly. He's flushed red.
"Okay," Jin says, but he still doesn't get it, this isn't getting any less creepy.
"Well. I suppose..." Nakamaru takes a deep breath, focusing; blinking. "Do you know how Johnny's been doing, Akanishi?"
"No," Jin says, and what does that have to do with what Kame did or didn't do? "He's old, I guess."
"Old," Nakamaru says. "And not well. He started to need... help. And Kamenashi stepped right up, and some people didn't like that."
And down goes the cognac.
"He... you... you were told to say it was his fault?"
"It was suggested, too." He breathes out heavily, full of bitterness, but when he looks at Jin there's a blurry sort of relief. "I hated doing it. It was the worst lie, it was... It was just a lie." He shrugs. "I'm sorry, Jin."
Jin nods. He's not here to judge. His brain's still catching up anyway.
"If I'd gone down, with what she knew, KAT-TUN would have taken a hit anyway. I saw no other way."
"Does Kame know about this?"
Nakamaru gives a sloppy shrug. "I don't know what he's guessed at by now. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know if it matters. It was just one step of many in a long game."
"A game?" This is getting bizarre, it's getting... "Wait, who's 'she'?"
Nakamaru squints at him. "Pardon me for saying so, but you really have lost the plot, haven't you?"
"Dude, I haven't talked to anyone about this shit in years!"
Nakamaru leans back with the glass held to his chest, his breaths deepening. "Neither have I."
Yeah, Jin can see that. Why you'd keep that quiet, why it's dangerous. Drugs. Long ago. It probably helps that Jin matters so absolutely not at all.
"So Julie tried to take over the company?" Jin wants to get that straight, really straight.
"Tried," Nakamaru says airily, "is trying. She'd have got it, except she mismanaged KAT-TUN, NEWS… the old Johnny side. I think that's… Kame was pissed. He was pissed all the time." He laughs, fading out quickly. "But I stopped keeping track. I'm out of the loop too nowadays, you see."
"So now Kame's in her way." Boy, he didn't even mean that president thing.
"Precisely."
"What happened to the girl?"
It goes quiet. Nakamaru blinks, and for a moment he's looking through Jin.
"She dumped me. I assume she was more interested in dating an idol than in a part-time consultant who's scared to be seen with a drink in public."
One of those. "I'm sorry," Jin says. At least he got a family out of the ruin of his career, no matter how complicated even that is, these days. "That's all… that sucks."
"Long time ago now," Nakamaru says. But he's not smiling. And there's no-one now, Jin thinks. But then he's got no time to think more because the bottle is there again, filling his glass. Jin will have such a hangover tomorrow. And will be lucky if he finds the train.
They toast each other anyway. How often can you get plastered together and compare notes on how to get kicked out of a band?
Week 4: Monday
The plastic bag clinks against Jin's legs as he stops at the curb.
It's Monday night, he's had a good day's sleep after his shifts, and he's shaved and decently dressed. There's no reason he should feel like a burglar scoping out the residential area.
Maybe it'll help if he stops looking over his shoulder.
He's still not sure how to tackle this, only that trying costs nothing, nothing except the train fare. It would help if he had a better idea what to say. Once upon a time, whining would have worked. But he was cuter then, with a lot less wear and tear. Now he doubts it'll get him past the front door.
Right, pretend to be an adult then. He takes a breath and steps up to the polished row of doorbells, with the security camera glaring down on him. Presses one, and feels his stomach do a little flip.
Which is just ridiculous.
"Yes, hello?" the voice comes, and then, as the video must have registered, "Akanishi?"
*~*~*
The noiseless elevator closes behind him. It's so noiseless it's almost creepy. His beer bottles clink again when he steps out, and now where to... Three doors on the floor, far apart, but one's just a crack open. Hey, Jin was already on camera! And is really not a burglar!
The door opens wider as Jin comes closer. "This is a surprise," Nakamaru says.
"Hey," Jin says, tries to shrug and smile. "You know me..." Like an old language he used to be more fluent in.
Nakamaru looks him over; Jin knows what's happening, because he's doing it too. How much older, did he get fat, how different...
"Well, come in," Nakamaru says, perfectly polite. "Good to see you."
He doesn't look much different. But he was always the one would could pull off the middle-aged respectable look, even when they were twenty. He didn't get fat. He's wearing a long-sleeved shirt now, and there's no aircon on in his apartment. It's immaculately tidy. Jin glimpses a home office past a half-open door, and then they're in the lounge.
Years and years ago, they had a party in Nakamaru's old apartment, and Kame was sick in an aquarium that stood in the far corner, and they spent two hours trying to rescue the fish, and they weren't invited back. There's no aquarium here.
It's all sustainable fair trade furniture and Jin gets to sit on a wicker couch that hurts his ass.
"Can I offer you some tea, perhaps?" Nakamaru says.
Jin lifts the bag. "Sorry, I forgot. I brought beer." Kame's beer, beer Kame brought him and they drank after. After Jin had him in his mouth. "Should still be cold. Ish."
For a moment Nakamaru just stares at the bottles, and Jin half expects him to say that he's gone off booze along with energy waste and upholstery, but then takes one of the bottles and twists off the cap.
"Thank you," he says.
"You're welcome." They clink the bottles' butts vaguely.
The first sip is odd, like deja-vu, when he's had plenty of beer in his life. Next time will be more beer. He runs his tongue over his lips, and it's a curious memory.
He starts a bit when Nakamaru says, "So if I may ask, how is your family?"
So they do that for a while. Fortunately Jin's mother is fine, and Meisa is fine, and Nakamaru's parents are in excellent health, and his youngest sister is pregnant but in good health, and his middle sister had to move to Kanazawa, and Jin's daughter is a lovely girl and Jin's son is shy and responsible and top of his class in English. Saying that actually makes Jin smile.
"That is good to hear," Nakamaru says, nodding along. "Very good indeed. I'm glad things are well."
"And what about you," Jin says. "Are you serious with anyone?" He hasn't seen any signs, but then whatever girl Nakamaru would date would probably not leave her bra hanging over the back of the wicker couch. There's nothing else either, no pictures, the place is blank of any... as blank as Nakamaru's face.
"No."
Whoops. That was a bit... Jin drinks his beer and wonders when that became such a loaded question.
But not like he can't sympathize. He makes an apologetic face. "Yeah. Me neither, actually. You know, after... it's been years now."
Nakamaru watches him with that same blank face. "Yes, it must be hard after a divorce, I can imagine," he says after a moment. Drinks some beer too, politely.
This isn't going too well.
"Sorry," Jin says. "I didn't mean anything by it. I was just asking, it made sense at the time." Or did Nakamaru become gay at some point, too?
Suddenly Nakamaru sighs, takes a deeper swig of beer, and leans back in the horrible healthy armchair. He looks older and more relaxed at the same time. Studying Jin, he snorts.
"What?"
"My apologies. I just realized you'd probably be the world's least likely undercover reporter."
The back of Jin's neck prickles uncomfortably. He's not undercover, exactly, but his life's definitely taken a turn for unlikely. "Sounds like an epiphany," he mumbles.
"I couldn't help wondering if you might be sniffing around for belated scandal tidbits," Nakamaru says. "But, well. Sorry."
It makes Jin grin despite himself, despite the fact that he is sniffing around, even if it's not quite the same. "Piss off."
Nakamaru shrugs. "You have to admit that a visit from you after all this time is surprising enough to make one look for an explanation." And that, despite the conciliatory smile, is a question.
Jin fiddles with his bottle. "Yeah, I know. I kind of... I've been thinking about the old days more, recently." Completely true, too. "And I was thinking, it's kind of sad we all lost track of each other like that. And, well. I've got more time on my hands than I used to." All of it is true.
Nakamaru purses his considerable lips. "You weren't exactly one for keeping in touch, I would say."
Jin shrugs. "There was a time that was best for everyone, I figured."
Nakamaru knows that's true, too. He also knows that Jin's just shit at it, because he knows Jin, because they go back years, and suddenly Jin feels so glad to see him, him and his stupid ergo-eco couch and his big nose.
"I have to admit you have a point there, " Nakamaru says.
Jin watches him take another deep swig. That bottle's finished. He fishes the next one out of the bottle. "I don't even know what you're doing these days," he says.
Nakamaru takes his beer, and gives him a small smile. Age has made him smoother, too.
"Well, I'm actually using my degree. I'm consulting on environmental issues. Liaising between companies and action groups, that kind of thing. I also," and he bows his head a little, "think I got out with more of a parachute than you did. The last few albums set me up all right."
Yeah. It was a good time for KAT-TUN, they were really ramping it up, one member or the other constantly on TV. Even Jin heard about the ticket prices in 2017. A good time to make tons of money; a weird time to leave.
"You sounded like you were glad to get out, anyway," Jin says. Not prodding or anything. Just fact, right?
But Nakamaru goes silent. Stares at his bottle. It takes a while before he says, "I sure did."
Jin has another drink, trying to shrug off the uncomfortable prickle of embarrassment. He's not good at this. Nakamaru looks closed off, like any moment he'll be asking Jin to leave.
"How long you've been living here?" Jin asks, the first small talk, harmless question that pops into his head, and even that makes suspicion flicker over Nakamaru's face. Damn.
But he says, "I bought it three years ago."
Jin sits still; waits. Looks very innocent, or so he hopes.
Nakamaru's eyes narrow thoughtfully. "You know, I have a nice Cognac, kindly given to me by a valuable Hokkaido client whom I helped contact somebody in the Pyrenees. I haven't yet had an occasion to bring it out. Do you think you might be persuaded to sample some of it?"
Oh yes, Jin might indeed. He's having more booze this week than he did last year, or so it feels. But he fancies some anyway. He's not getting kicked out just yet.
"Thanks," he says when Nakamaru hands him shiny brown liquid in a matte recycled glass.
*~*~*
"I could have a dog now," Nakamaru says, gesturing around. He leans his head back, his legs sprawling. "But, I don't know." He upends his glass with the delicious congnac and sighs. "Opinions on the appropriateness of pets are very divided in the ecological community, you know. It's hard…"
"I couldn't," Jin says. "My place is a rathole."
Nakamaru laughs quietly. "Rats make very good pets, despite their reputation. They're clean, intelligent..." Then he blinks. "I'm very sorry, that was insensitive."
"No problem," Jin says, having a tiny sip. He holds up the bottle questioningly.
"Oh, all right," Nakamaru says, watching the gold drop into his glass. It's his fourth. He squints. "Of course, rats would go in a cage. Which is even more of a concern, when you think about it."
"Well, pets are nice," Jin says. He's at least got more of an opinion on this than on the organic spirits from organic grapes in organic fields they discussed over glasses one through three. He counted. "My daughter also tells me rats are cute."
"They're also actively prosocial," Nakamaru says, taking another sip. "In experiments, they have demonstrated altruistic behavior to other rats."
"Some humans could learn from that," Jin says, lightly, just to get them back on the track of actual, you know, life.
"That is unfortunately very true." A bigger sip, and then he's looking into his glass again. Jin's glass is almost empty, too; he tried to stay sober but it didn't work, was too slow. So he goes for a refill and tops Nakamaru up again too.
"But then again," Nakamaru says, "on the other side of the scale you get ducks. Very unpleasant flosses. I mean, fellows."
Jin giggles. The booze. Okay, ducks. It's inconvenient but it's funny.
He tries to stay focused through ducks and their perversions. They can't be doing too bad if Nakamaru's landed at the pervy stuff.
"That swan," Nakamaru sighs. "I think... it was after my ribbons."
"Your ribbons?" Jin pictures ponies. No, that can't be right.
"Uniform jacket," Nakamaru says. His eyes are a little glassy. "You know. It was... wow..." He makes an astonished face. "I don't remember why I was wearing it."
"Do you still collect that stuff?" Jin asks.
"Not really," Nakamaru says. "Well, sometimes. But for a while, I had too many other things on my mind. And I was no longer wearing them at concerts. I mean, I had no concerts. Because of... and didn't want to be noticed in public… it was all sad. And I got prara— paranoid too, so, sure you understand..." He trails off.
It's a heavy silence, full of old... stuff. And cognac vapour. "I didn't think I'd miss it," Jin says. Concerts. Lights. Maybe the cognac was a bad idea. "Just, the noise. The life."
Nakamaru meets his eyes, and through the soft focus nostalgia comes a more awake stare. Curiosity. "I read about your divorce," he says. "I'm very sorry."
"Yeah, well." Jin shrugs and refills Nakamaru's glass.
"What happened? Did you have an affair?"
"No!" Why on earth would he? But his outrage dies down quickly when it seems Nakamaru isn't even embarrassed.
"Did she?"
"No." He's still got all the knee-jerk sulking, shutting down, not your business reflexes. But then he takes a breath. You don't get something for nothing, and memory lane isn't a one way street. "No, it was… it just didn't work. It was complicated."
"Because you got fired?"
Jin shrugs again. "That didn't help." It wasn't the reason. But all the reasons started there. "I guess we were great when it was all going okay. We just weren't strong enough for the really shitty parts."
Shitty parts like Jin out of work for months, Jin and Akira and the baby at home, Meisa working when she could, struggling in a business not mindful of mothers with a family.
He has a sip of the booze and it burns, burns deep. God, he can't get drunk. Not more drunk. But it burns.
"I'm sorry," Nakamaru says again.
"She married… I think she married a guy she could share stuff with." He's never told this to anyone, and he's not sure he's putting it right, but Nakamaru looks like something makes sense. "When we both worked, and we both looked after the kids… that was great, she was happy I wanted to change diapers. I just don't think she was ready to feel like the guy in the household quite so much."
He's thought about it a lot. And there was more to it, things like the kids always coming to him when they wanted stuff, Jin taking their side too much, I don't want to be bad evil mom all the time. She was crying and angry when she flung that at him. It still hurts him now, because she's a great mom.
"And the shittier it got, the more I spent time with the kids, that was something I was good at and I loved it. But she had to deal with me being down and angry and useless while the kids were all, Daddy is the greatest…"
He tried to make up for it, but in the end the more he tried to please her, the worse it got. Nobody wants to fuck the pathetic guy, and nobody needs him hanging around the house either.
"That sounds very hard," Nakamaru says in a quiet voice, still and attentive, thinking through half a bottle of golden booze. Jin takes a deep, deep breath. "We all knew you would make a great father, so it's very sad when that… gets complicated."
It was such a horrible time. He'd never thought it could get any worse. He didn't think he'd get this much into his sad sorry life tonight either, but turns out he doesn't really mind.
"She said I cared so much more about the kids than the marriage," he says. "And she was right, and it wasn't fair, and I wish I'd paid more attention. I wish I'd done a lot of things differently."
Nakamaru takes a breath almost as deep as Jin's. "Don't we all."
Indeed.
"But you are in touch with your family now, are you not? It would be…" He looks genuinely worried for Jin and Jin feels touched.
"I see them," Jin says. When he can, when he has work. "Meisa's good. We're not at war or anything."
Nakamaru looks relieved.
"Are you in touch with the others?" Jin asks, perfectly easy, and it's clear enough who he means.
Nakamaru's face looks pinched. "No. Given the manner of my departure…"
Jin holds his breath and hopes Nakamaru doesn't see. "I admit I'm curious what really happened," he says. "I mean, what really happened."
Nakamaru blinks at him. Then he breaks into the widest, dorkiest grin. "I bet you are." But he's not just drunk. It's their history, and Jin's got a place in it; a right to it.
"It seemed pretty out of the blue. And I caught some of it, but, you know. That was when things were so bad with Meisa, right before she kicked me out, and I was a mess. I didn't know the details."
Nakamaru looks at him owlishly. "No," he says, slowly. "I guess that's... You wouldn't know the details, nobody knew the details."
That sounds more worrying than Jin had even thought. But surely Kame didn't... "It's just..." He's looking for words. "You know Kamenashi and me, we had our issues. But for him to be the reason that you quit at a time like that..." His tongue's a little thick but the fact that he's getting places, making progress, helps like a cup of strong coffee.
"What, you didn't buy the 'strained working atmosphere' and the 'stifling ambition'?" Nakamaru's eyebrows rise high, waggle tipsily. "And what else was it, oh, 'lack of integrity', yes."
"But he's always been a bossy little bitch, not like that was news," Jin says, the memory bright and sharp. "He was always... burning."
Nakamaru laughs quietly into his glass. "Hmmmm," he says. And then he empties it. "Yeah. I know. We know." He sighs and the impossible chair creaks as he sprawls more comfortably. "No, all that was just the official show. I got myself into a slightly unfat— unfortunate situation, and it was..." He takes a breath, focusing. "It was suggested to me that it would be better for me on a general level if I withdrew from KAT-TUN and the agency." He smirks proudly at having gotten that out in one go. But Jin's blinking, and maybe he's understanding wrong.
"Kame forced you out?"
"No. Not him."
"Then who? Management? Johnny?"
"Not Johnny," Nakamaru says. There's something glazed to his stare. "But something like that, yes."
"I didn't remember anything in the papers..." Though they've established Jin was busy getting kicked out by his wife and being unemployed, so who knows.
"Because I went along with the suggestion." His hands, elegant as always, are unsteady as he pours them both another drink. "I guess I shouldn't even be telling you this."
Jin sips carefully, wishing he had actual coffee. This is starting to freak him out. "What did you actually do?"
Nakamaru gulps his down, Jin's not even prodding anymore. "I met a girl."
Jin just stares. It can't be. It can't be that fucking same story, not six years after Jin, with the fans old enough to deal and KAT-TUN giving Arashi a run for their money. That is just fucking stupid.
Nakamaru stares right back, like he didn't even notice the parallel. "She was great. And exciting. And we did exciting things. Some of them, I shouldn't have been doing."
Shit. Not even Jin— this feels bad. "I guess... that wasn't bungee jumping," he says; tries a smile.
"Cocaine," Nakamaru says. He doesn't look that drunk now. "Not often. But somehow someone at the agency heard about it."
And made him resign. And made him— wait a minute. "So what was all that stuff about Kame? What did he do?"
It's the first time Nakamaru looks as awkwardly embarrassed as Jin remembers him. "He did nothing."
"Nothing," Jin echoes.
"I mean, nothing wrong," Nakamaru says quickly. He's flushed red.
"Okay," Jin says, but he still doesn't get it, this isn't getting any less creepy.
"Well. I suppose..." Nakamaru takes a deep breath, focusing; blinking. "Do you know how Johnny's been doing, Akanishi?"
"No," Jin says, and what does that have to do with what Kame did or didn't do? "He's old, I guess."
"Old," Nakamaru says. "And not well. He started to need... help. And Kamenashi stepped right up, and some people didn't like that."
And down goes the cognac.
"He... you... you were told to say it was his fault?"
"It was suggested, too." He breathes out heavily, full of bitterness, but when he looks at Jin there's a blurry sort of relief. "I hated doing it. It was the worst lie, it was... It was just a lie." He shrugs. "I'm sorry, Jin."
Jin nods. He's not here to judge. His brain's still catching up anyway.
"If I'd gone down, with what she knew, KAT-TUN would have taken a hit anyway. I saw no other way."
"Does Kame know about this?"
Nakamaru gives a sloppy shrug. "I don't know what he's guessed at by now. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know if it matters. It was just one step of many in a long game."
"A game?" This is getting bizarre, it's getting... "Wait, who's 'she'?"
Nakamaru squints at him. "Pardon me for saying so, but you really have lost the plot, haven't you?"
"Dude, I haven't talked to anyone about this shit in years!"
Nakamaru leans back with the glass held to his chest, his breaths deepening. "Neither have I."
Yeah, Jin can see that. Why you'd keep that quiet, why it's dangerous. Drugs. Long ago. It probably helps that Jin matters so absolutely not at all.
"So Julie tried to take over the company?" Jin wants to get that straight, really straight.
"Tried," Nakamaru says airily, "is trying. She'd have got it, except she mismanaged KAT-TUN, NEWS… the old Johnny side. I think that's… Kame was pissed. He was pissed all the time." He laughs, fading out quickly. "But I stopped keeping track. I'm out of the loop too nowadays, you see."
"So now Kame's in her way." Boy, he didn't even mean that president thing.
"Precisely."
"What happened to the girl?"
It goes quiet. Nakamaru blinks, and for a moment he's looking through Jin.
"She dumped me. I assume she was more interested in dating an idol than in a part-time consultant who's scared to be seen with a drink in public."
One of those. "I'm sorry," Jin says. At least he got a family out of the ruin of his career, no matter how complicated even that is, these days. "That's all… that sucks."
"Long time ago now," Nakamaru says. But he's not smiling. And there's no-one now, Jin thinks. But then he's got no time to think more because the bottle is there again, filling his glass. Jin will have such a hangover tomorrow. And will be lucky if he finds the train.
They toast each other anyway. How often can you get plastered together and compare notes on how to get kicked out of a band?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 05:35 pm (UTC)It's all sustainable fair trade furniture and Jin gets to sit on a wicker couch that hurts his ass.
That's so Maru and so funny :D
[...]because they go back years, and suddenly Jin feels so glad to see him, him and his stupid ergo-eco couch and his big nose.
So much Nakanishi love in this chapter *__*
"She married… I think she married a guy she could share stuff with." He's never told this to anyone, and he's not sure he's putting it right, but Nakamaru looks like something makes sense. "When we both worked, and we both looked after the kids… that was great, she was happy I wanted to change diapers. I just don't think she was ready to feel like the guy in the household quite so much."
T__T That makes sense to me too, so sad. But at least he's still go them as he thinks later, he still has a family but Maru got nothing out of his "scandal".
I just love how jin went there (to fish for Kame info?) and ended up having such a perfect meeting with his old pal. They tell each other stuff, listen patiently, they're interested in the other... it's like the total flip-side of how it is when Jin talks with Kame because then it's all tension and being just on the edge of pissing the other off. I think I owe you some thanks for giving me some Maru when I was sad about Pi's abscense :3
But I'm sad about Maru at the same time... well it is incredibly nice that he is doing well money-wise, but he's all alone ;__; He should ignore all the inviroment stuff and get a cute dog. Or adopt Jin.
And of course Kame is battling it out with Julie :D I'm proud of Mr. Naughty Turtle, at least I think it's the good thing to do. Although he's probably working everyone around him half to death...
I couldn't wait for more and I got MUCH more so soon <3<3 Hearts, hugs and fluffy kittens all over the place!!! Amazing update. And my brain is mush so I think I've missed like half of what I wanted to say but you will have to make do with this for now :P
Thanks for this awesome update!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 05:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 04:53 pm (UTC)So much Nakanishi love in this chapter
We admittedly had fun writing this one. :D We don't normally write a whole long lot about Nakamaru, but even for us it was very enjoyable to go and let Jin hang out with him after he's mostly been moping around the apartment or meeting the kids.
I just love how jin went there (to fish for Kame info?)
No question mark about it. *g* But you're right, it also turned into something else. We're really happy their interactions came across that well!
There seems to be a petition in the works to get Nakamaru a dog... :p
I couldn't wait for more and I got MUCH more so soon
We laughed at ourselves how this one made our word count suddenly jump. *g* Glad you liked, though, and the wonderful feedback is much cherished! AND YOU WERE FIRST BY ACCIDENT! Heeee. (Though do you really want to trust us with fluffy kittens?)
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 05:47 pm (UTC)that made me laugh a lot lol so did the cocaine part. i mean, nakamaru doing drugs AHAH i can NEVER picture it
it's so interesting. and it feels like it could be true, the way you're writing it... I want to know more *_*
Kame's finally starting to look better. I like when it does that.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 04:55 pm (UTC)Thank you for commenting. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 07:30 pm (UTC)oha, 5PM again, that seems to be a nice time to update ^^
Right, pretend to be an adult then.
LOOOL
Ok, in contrast to Kame it's difficult to appear not as a kid.
Maru didn't move in… who knows how much time? o.o?
But he was always the one would could pull off the middle-aged respectable look, even when they were twenty.
This is a nice description of his looks. :D
Kame's beer, beer Kame brought him and they drank after. After Jin had him in his mouth.
All those useful things you can do with beer.
I kinda imagine a small, little turtle ready to conquer parts of Jin's brain for himself.
"My apologies. I just realized you'd probably be the world's least likely undercover reporter."
Hahaha
He also knows that Jin's just shit at it, because he knows Jin, because they go back years, and suddenly Jin feels so glad to see him, him and his stupid ergo-eco couch and his big nose.
KT time not going to waste here
"I don't even know what you're doing these days," he says
Ah, it's Maru who is out of KT.
But he says, "I bought it three years ago."
Ok… if he's not yet living there for a long time, how did Jin know about his address?
"What happened? Did you have an affair?"
INFORMATION *____* yes, please!
"No, it was… it just didn't work. It was complicated.
Yes, very happy about some background story *___*
"Are you in touch with the others?" Jin asks, perfectly easy, and it's clear enough who he means.
Let's figure out why Kame runs for president. ^^
But surely Kame didn't…
Kame demanding blow jobs everywhere. hahaha
"Cocaine," Nakamaru says. He doesn't look that drunk now. "Not often. But somehow someone at the agency heard about it."
I was all out: YAY Maru is doing kink! Let him be bound with ropes! and.. yeah, drugs are a very good reason.
"He... you... you were told to say it was his fault?"
internal politics
"So Julie tried to take over the company?" Jin wants to get that straight, really straight.
information *___*
They toast each other anyway. How often can you get plastered together and compare notes on how to get kicked out of a band?
LOL great last sentences :D
Thank you very much for this informative chapter. *____*
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 04:57 pm (UTC)Well, actually, we were aiming for 6 in German time. *g* It seems a useful time for posting things that start in the afternoon and go on into drunken nights.
I kinda imagine a small, little turtle ready to conquer parts of Jin's brain for himself.
The Turtle, it is on the move! :D But, yes.
INFORMATION *____* yes, please!
You little scandal hound, you! But we thought you might like this one. We're happy we were right.
Kame demanding blow jobs everywhere.
THAT DID NOT EVEN OCCUR TO US. We would like to state for the record that you were dirtier-minded than we right there!! :p
I was all out: YAY Maru is doing kink! Let him be bound with ropes!
Not ropes, maybe, but that chick was more sexually experimental than he was used to -- not that he'd tell Jin that. #background #extras #forregulars
Thank you very much for this thorough and fun comment! >_>
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 08:27 pm (UTC)I'm starting to feel so bad for Kame ;__; Hope he kick's Julies ass and becomes president.
Looking forward to the next part!!^__^ ♥♥♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 09:37 pm (UTC)When I read KAT-TUN was 4 members, I thought anybody could have left the group but Nakamaru O_o
You two are really killing me with this fic.
The only reason I can really continue reading this is because it'll have a happy ending (it better have a happy ending or I'll have to kill you both :) xD)
Can't wait when Jin and Kame meet again! *_______*
PS: I'm sorry I haven't commented before but I think this is the first time I comment on a fic :) I'll try to do it more often ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:47 pm (UTC)presencecomment. *g*Nakamaru, really. Boy took a walk on the wild side. Unfortunately it was a bit of a short walk. *sigh*
OY NO KILLING! All this violence. Tsk, tsk.
We make no promises, mwhahahaha. But we're very pleased to hear from you, thank you for the feedback!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 09:42 pm (UTC)Of course I also loved all the background information we got. But the best was Nakamaru and Jin sneaking around each other. I'm still grinning like an idiot.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 10:41 pm (UTC)The whole backstory <3
I really appreciate authors who spends time on believable back stories. ^^
Nakamaru got kicked out? Him of all people?!
I've been wondering who it was besides Jin who had to leave ever since chapter 2.
"mature and serious KAT-TUN, all four of them in suits"
I had my money on Ueda or Koki.
Thank you so much for updating, I really needed this, it has been a hell of a crappy day.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:47 pm (UTC)Aw, school work kicking your butt? We're glad we could cheer you up
with Jin's sad sad lifeafter a day like that!Yes, Nakamaru of all people. One fifteen meter walk on the wild side and... It's really unfair, we know.
Thanks very much for the comment, we're happy you liked it!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 11:23 pm (UTC)In the beginning, I almost thought Jin had somehow tracked down Kame's address and was working himself up for a confrontation of some kind (still confused as to how he found Maru).
The awkward conversation was a bit painful because to me Maru's always been the one (apart from Kame) who is spokesperson for the group and can always keep polite conversation. It made more sense when I realised he was the one who'd left and it was to cover up a scandal. It made me smile to imagine Nakamaru (who always gets picked on in KT and can never seem to avoid the traps) becoming cautious - he's learnt to keep control of situations now and even though he's an adult now in RL, this realisation had a real "he's all grown up now~" feel to it!
Jin and Meisa relationship info - it's bittersweet in a way that they began with so much drama and gossip but the end is rather anti-climatic, they were unhappy and it was very much a dramatic time for them, but the outside world was no longer interested and no one knew... Although I'm one of those who were worried when they marriage was announced last year that they would be happy if their main reason for marrying was because of a baby, now I'm extremely worried...
Jin fishing for info on
KameKT - he's not very tactful, is he? But whatever, it gets the job done and he got answers (unfortunate that it probably wouldn't work on Kame)!Maru's bit abt Kame not doing anything (good or bad) for him - it's cute that Maru felt bad abt being made to put the blame on Kame and I'd like to think that by Kame not doing anything, Maru's also thinking abt Kame keeping his silence even when being wrongfully blamed because he's still putting KT first and also not letting the truth of Maru's scandal get out.
It makes sense now that Jin searched out Maru first - they were both out of the group, both under sketchy circumstances, Maru's less likely to shut Jin out because he's also not an insider anymore.
Johnny's still alive?!?! I hope he's on Kame's side in the power struggle!
I like that before meeting Kame again, Jin's life had no direction, he didn't really know what he wanted (apart from getting to be with his kids), but after a push from Kame, he's interested in
Kamethe world again and actively interacting with people.This comment ran on a bit (sorry!), there's was just so much to comment on! Not that I'm complaining about the length of the chapter - it's great, please post more chapters like this!
Last thing - will we see Maru again if he's not part of Kame's circle or will he become a regular visitor in Jin's life now?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:48 pm (UTC)Heee! This hadn't occurred to us at all, we admit, but it's an accidental fake-out that kinda pleases us. *g*
It made me smile to imagine Nakamaru (who always gets picked on in KT and can never seem to avoid the traps) becoming cautious - he's learnt to keep control of situations now and even though he's an adult now in RL, this realisation had a real "he's all grown up now~" feel to it!
Cool! We both tend to think of Nakamaru as a guy who thinks a lot, which is why he never gets to the point, but that's a different kind of thing from this caution he has now, after he's experienced people being out to get him. An adult, grown-up feeling pleases us!
Yes, it's true, about Jin and Meisa; while Jin's continued underemployment was not expected and felt dramatic to him, the reasons the marriage fell apart were not really dramatic at all in comparison to how they started.
Although I'm one of those who were worried when they marriage was announced last year that they would be happy if their main reason for marrying was because of a baby, now I'm extremely worried...
Yeah. :-| But then we did put some extra stresses on their marriage that REALLY WON'T HAPPEN IRL NO NO, so...
Jin fishing for info on
KameKT - he's not very tactful, is he?T______T But he tried so hard to be all ninja! T_______T (No, ok, we actually agree with Maru, he'd make the world's least likely ninja scandal reporter. *g*)
I'd like to think that by Kame not doing anything, Maru's also thinking abt Kame keeping his silence even when being wrongfully blamed because he's still putting KT first and also not letting the truth of Maru's scandal get out.
Unfortunately, Kame had no idea about the real scandal, so we have to admit Kame wasn't noble there, just pragmatic -- someone says 'I'm leaving the band because this guy is a bossy asshole', going on TV to explain how you're not a bossy asshole
when you kind of areprobably just makes the scandal worse. *g*This was a cool comment any author would love to read! Thank you so much!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 11:49 pm (UTC)I'm actually glad Kame's not the bad guy. But he thinks he is? Or something? Because they made the public believe that he is? Idk I'm not sure I get that part, but anyway, I'm happy. And is Kame fishing for Johnny's position or does he simply not want Julie to fill it? I'm hoping the latter, to be honest, even if I'm sure he'd do a freakishly good job as Johnny 2.0.
I hope Jin and Nakamaru will meet up again after this. And that Nakamaru will cool down with the polite talk, sheesh. xD
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:48 pm (UTC)It is, in a way. Which is one reason he really couldn't cope. T____T
We think (HOPE!) the rest will become clearer as it goes on, in particular Kame. *g*
And that Nakamaru will cool down with the polite talk, sheesh.
LOLOL DREAM OOOON, we say. *g*
Thank you for this! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-14 11:51 pm (UTC)Of course now whatever really does happen to them will not seem nearly as dramatic, so maybe this is a good thing.
Years and years ago, they had a party in Nakamaru's old apartment, and Kame was sick in an aquarium that stood in the far corner, and they spent two hours trying to rescue the fish, and they weren't invited back. There's no aquarium here.
I want to read so, so much more about this party. No idea. XDDD *futilely hopes for future maybe eventual drabble*
"When we both worked, and we both looked after the kids… that was great, she was happy I wanted to change diapers. I just don't think she was ready to feel like the guy in the household quite so much."
Maybe we should get an actual guy then... not naming any names of course....
Not commenting on sad stuff because there is enough depressing stuff in real life. *pouts at you*
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:48 pm (UTC)Yep. Call it pre-emptive therapy. :)
You're so cute, wanting to read about the aquarium party. But okay, we liked that idea too, as a glimpse into a time when things were still good.
Guy? What guy? We would have no idea what sort of guy you mean. #shiftyeyes
We can see we'll have to write some fluff soon to make up for all the pain here. >_>
Thank you for commenting
and poutinganyway! ♥(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 12:08 am (UTC)BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE MARU AND
IDK HOW JIN FOUND OUT WHERE HE LIVES BUT WHO CAAAAAARES OH I'M SO HAPPY THEY REUNITED SORTA :'D /NAKANISHIFEELS
I really enjoyed reading this chappie a lot, I really love how you write Maru, very proper and polite and that you didn't immediately make them all chummy and friendly, there was some awkwardness before they started drinking, but Maru wasn't being cold or anything and it was so nice. :DD Such a different environment than when Jin is around Kame. It's kinda refreshing and relaxing to read, cuz I know with Maru I don't have to worry about dicks randomly being whipped out. X'D
Speaking of dicks, Kame is really such a giant one, holy fuck. Not for wanting to be the company president or anything, I imagine that might be something he'd want to do (I actually talked about it with a friend awhile ago), but for not even sticking up for Maru at all with his situation! (Btw the idea of Maru leaving just rips apart my soul, WHAT IS KAT-TUN WITHOUT MARU?!? DX WITHOUT JIN IT'S AWKWARD ENOUGH SOMETIMES) I mean, since they've gotten along so well always, that really irks me. I mean, well, no one in KT did either, but Kame has more power. Even though it wouldn't have helped probably cuz I know with how the Japanese/Korean celeb industry works, just HAVING a partner is an issue. DX But it's like he didn't even care, in the slightest......Kame what happened to you? D: When did you start taking Rich Asshole 101 classes? XD Like, do the rest of KT even like him? Does anybody like him? Truly? Geeeez.
Also, the reason for Jin and Meisa's divorce is the most realistic, truest thing EVER, especially about that Jin cares more about the kids than he cared about her. As Maru said, of course we all know he's a great father, but a great husband is another matter entirely. Also with that the kids appreciated Jin more while Meisa's the one working her ass off, yeah, that'd piss me off too. |D Although, that's not exactly anyone's fault, but that doesn't stop it from hurting. Considering they went through all that and she's still quite nice to him, kudooooos to her! Mad respect.
I'm really happy that they both get to bond over their wacky lives together now and most importantly, that Jin has somebody to properly talk to now. :'D Though, he probably will never tell anyone about Kame paying him, oh man, I wonder if anyone is going to find out somehow, that is NOT going to be pretty. It was also nice to get some answers in this chapter too! :D
AND THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE SO LONG SORRY /TOOMANYFEELINGS. The next chapter will have Kame right? EHEHEHEHEHE that crazy horny bastard.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:49 pm (UTC)No, Jin wouldn't even know where Kame lives. But Nakamaru runs his consultancy business out of his home, so he's not that hard to find anymore! Jin stalked him on Google. *g*
Proper & polite Maru... yes, that was one of our aims. :) He always sounds so proper on screen.
Uh, what do you think Kame could or should have done? He didn't know what was going on, he just knew Maru spouted some stuff about him and quit. (As for whether anybody likes Kame, that's a different, interesting question. *g*)
Jin and Meisa... we're so glad that comes across right, and particularly so that Meisa doesn't seem like a bitch. She had it hard with Jin, even though Jin had a hard life too. Yes, she's being very fair to him really, and they even still like each other, it's just not working as a marriage.
WE LOOOOOVE LONG COMMENTS LIKE KAME LOVES... well, you know. *g* ♥♥♥♥♥
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Date: 2013-01-15 12:46 am (UTC)i'm glad maru talked. and gave readers bits of what happened before he was kicked out and in the present of how kame is doing.
thank you so much for this update.... well, i'm still kinda speechless about how kame had been. i mean, after all, kame hasn't talked about it in ages, right?
i was just glad that, well, maru talked. i like formal maru here a lot.
maybe the next update would be with kame?? i dunno what to expect anymore...
i just wish for kame to talk too.... then, maybe, just maybe, we can avoid another round of good fuck??? (shit. what am i saying?)
thanks for this update, really... :)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:49 pm (UTC)The formality worked? We were trying to figure out what he might sound like from his way of speaking Japanese, but we're not fluent Japanese speakers, and, well, it's a tricky business anyway. *g* Happy that it worked for you!
What, you want to avoid the good fuck? But poor Kame will be all... frustrated. And Jin won't be able to pay his rent. :p
Thank you for this fun comment!
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Date: 2013-01-15 02:36 am (UTC)it was mentioned that there are only 4 in KAT-TUN, i just didn't expect this..
NAKAMARU got kicked out of KAT-TUN..and because of a girl and drugs..YUICHI?environment-loving and the least likely to do drugs YUICHI?(not that i think that the others are more likely to do drugs)..
tell me if i got things right: yuichi fell in love, did drugs with the girl, got caught by julie k., was told to withdraw from KAT-TUN by julie k. and told to tell the world that he's leaving because of kame..and during this time, johnny is old and sick, and kame stepped up to help and julie didn't like kame having power so she used nakamaru's situation to put dirt on kame's name (welcome to johnny's world)..and during this time too, jin's having his own problems, with his divorce with meisa and his career going down in flames..
a lot really happened (well, its has been 10 years)..so i guess things are still not ok between nakamaru and kame..and that hurts me a bit..i bet kame was hurt a lot when nakamaru left the way he did..though i agree with nakamaru that it would have hurt KAT-TUN as a group if what he did went public, he could have talked it out with the other members then decide..
i like that jin finally took the initiative to connect with nakamaru..i think i wasn't so surprised that he chose nakamaru because they were close back then and they are kind of in the same boat in regards with KAT-TUN..
i really loved the bit about KAT-TUN giving arashi a run for their money..
thanks for the quick update!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:50 pm (UTC)Yes, your summary is correct. Nice roundup! :)
Exactly, we thought they were pretty friendly when Jin was still in the band, so he made sense somehow.
Ha ha, Arashi, we loved writing that too! :)))
Thank you for this great comment!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 02:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 09:19 am (UTC)And wow! Kame's really climbing the power ladder at the Jimusho now that Johnny's too old to handle things. Btw, Johnny must look like the living dead if he's still alive after all these drama with KT, Jin and the Jimusho. XD
I can't wait for the other members to show up. Thanks for the update!
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Date: 2013-01-15 08:47 am (UTC)Jin's reason for a divorce was really completely 100% believeable, I could see it happening. Maru did Coccaine because of a girl??!!?? His OL type of girl made him do this? It was an OL right?? Did Maru not like the way Kame had become, for not sticking up for him? I mean even though Nakamaru sounded remorseful for lying that it was Kame's fault, I wonder what Kame could have done to help Nakamaru and did Kame really not do anything??
And I seriously despise Julie!
Thanks for your updates! They were very enlightening, I now wonder how it would be like when Akame meet.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:51 pm (UTC)We're happy the divorce was believable. (Poor Jin.) Maru... well, that girl wasn't precisely a well-behaved OL. Though she probably appeared like it to start with.
No, Kame didn't do anything because he didn't even know what was going on. One day Maru is in his band, the next day Maru says 'Kamenashi is an asshole and therefore I'm leaving' (only in more professional language). Not much to be done.
Wonder wonder wonder... #singingauthors
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 02:08 pm (UTC)Yay Nakanishi <3
BUT! Maru had to leave the band!? For the drugs!?! Maru of all people? But Nakamaru is the heart of the K-T!
And he had to betray Kame in this way T-T Ok he had to but I think that Kame would understand if Maru said something / explained the situation. Well, Kame could even agree to this in order to defend KAT-TUN. This must have really hurt him.
Too much information at once, I have to sort out it somehow XD
And unhappy, lonely Nakamaru T-T I hope that he and Jin will be meet more often because they both need it. (And that you give Maru a dog ;) )
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 07:52 pm (UTC)We know, it's very sad about Maru. We don't want this to happen to him (or to KAT-TUN) any more than we want the stuff we're writing for Jin to happen. Our private little dystopia. :p
Thank you for commenting! ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 10:59 pm (UTC)Such a lovely little addition once again, a funny memory from the past coming forth ♥ I love how it's memories with Kame and him that he remembers. It could've been nearly anyone but... Yeah. Kame really used to have a strong presence in Jin's life :(
"My place is a rathole."
Nakamaru laughs quietly. "Rats make very good pets, despite their reputation. They're clean, intelligent..." Then he blinks. "I'm very sorry, that was insensitive."
Somehow Nakamaru's reaction was incredibly hilarious ♥ I loved it. Of course he'd go all smart :3 Overall, I enjoyed Nakamaru in this chapter a lot, it was nice to have him around ♥
I feel bad for Kame, though. First the entire ordeal with Jin, then Nakamaru who blamed him for things he wasn't entirely responsible for and the current war for his place in the company... It must have been hard for him. No wonder he's a little... off. His life has been downright shitty at times and he isn't very good at relaxing or being fine with less.
Looking forward to more of this ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-16 02:28 pm (UTC)He did. :-/
Glad you enjoyed Nakamaru in this part, and the rat reaction. *g* We had a surprising amount of fun writing this. (But we're also #evil, of course.)
YAY, Kame sympathy. >_> We know he's a jerk, but he also hasn't entirely had it easy, no, and the thing with Nakamaru really wasn't his fault (except maybe in the sense that he'd have a really hard time denying that he is a bossy bitch).
No wonder he's a little... off.
:-)
Thank you for this comment! Stay tuned for more!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-16 07:48 pm (UTC)back to this week's, and want to say am enjoying trawling the comments as much as reading the fic - ha ho hee. it's working as the leech for the feels before i scribble my bit. therapeutic. talking of which..am with souleater angel re pre-emptive therapy/future kat-tun.. but this felt lighter, and brought some laughs.
oh, here's a bad thot - you are probably grooming us for worse to come.. the stroke/slap method *chortle*- maru?? really?? out of his depth, up a creek without a paddle etc.. me, not so surprised. the purest fall the hardest. sounds like the poor man still needs to reconcile.. still freaked, still watching his p's and q's while enmeshed in the ethical eco-industry pile.. awww. [why do we always feel sorry somehow for him? or is it just me?]
moving on -
nicely real depiction of meisa situation - it sucks, they're dealing, nothing personal..
and kame. i like snippets of backstory. interesting. and jin? maru is a positive move. and with the turtle, taking back some control. but the two together? i don't know wth to say here - just don't have words. am watching. waiting. wondering wth this will go.. where it can go.. together and in the wider sphere. cos it feels like this will have ramifications..
many thanks ladies. [cold pricklies? really?] thanks for your patience. [edit cos i really can't do english grammar..]
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-17 05:04 pm (UTC)We thought the baggage handlers were very intriguing, too. *eg*
the stroke/slap method
LOLOL! A perfected technique...
not that we really think so, necessarily. necessarily...the purest fall the hardest.
That's kind of what we thought, too. He just went completely nuts for this chick and had no way of coping.
why do we always feel sorry somehow for him? or is it just me?
It's probably not just you, but we like to poke fun at him more, normally. When he's not suddenly acquired a tragic past. *g*
We're glad the depiction of the Meisa situation works for you. That was really important backstory, after all.
cold pricklies? really?
Yes, really. If you're still unsure at the end of the story... but we don't think you will be. *g*
Thank you for this comment, it was really interesting to read, and we're glad so far you're still on board! ♥
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Date: 2013-01-17 04:34 pm (UTC)Jin lifts the bag. "Sorry, I forgot. I brought beer." Kame's beer, beer Kame brought him and they drank after. After Jin had him in his mouth. "Should still be cold. Ish."
I really like this line. For some reason XDD
"She said I cared so much more about the kids than the marriage," he says.
This sounds so much like Jin D: The way they divorced... it hurts ;;---; I want to go give Jin tons of hugs. KAMEEEEEEEE GO HUG HIM. NOW. But Jin has the kids... and they're not fighting with Meisa anymore. That's good >: ♥♥
AND NAKAMARU ;;__________________; SO IT WAS NAKAMARU WHO LEFT. He's so... sad ;;---; Guys. This fic is so believable it hurts even more.
And Kame... poor Kame ;;______; I think I might be starting to understand why he's so messed up. D:
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-17 05:05 pm (UTC)KAMEEEEEEEE GO HUG HIM. NOW.
"Hug? Kame looked at the girl. She was cute, admittedly, and making urgent eyes at him that once upon a time might have, well, urged him to do things. He straightened his cuffs. 'Sorry, I just got this suit back from the cleaner,' he said."
And Kame... poor Kame
\\o//
Thank you for this comment, and we are not even sorry for the feelings. >_>
♥♥♥
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Date: 2013-01-17 06:32 pm (UTC)Once upon a time, whining would have worked. But he was cuter then, with a lot less wear and tear. Now he doubts it'll get him past the front door.
Love the self-awareness. xD
Kame was sick in an aquarium that stood in the far corner, and they spent two hours trying to rescue the fish, and they weren't invited back
LOL now why can I imagine this so well!!! XD There should be a separate fic just for this.
It makes Jin grin despite himself, despite the fact that he is sniffing around, even if it's not quite the same. "Piss off."
Seee. Nakanishi. They are adorbs, and adorable dorks. Also, Jin as an investigator turns out to be more skilled than I'd have thought--it cracked me up several times.
and suddenly Jin feels so glad to see him, him and his stupid ergo-eco couch and his big nose.
;______________________; ♥
"Opinions on the appropriateness of pets are very divided in the ecological community, you know. It's hard…"
XD I can hear him speak--Nakamaru, aged, 100%!!
He's at least got more of an opinion on this than on the organic spirits from organic grapes in organic fields they discussed over glasses one through three. He counted.
Have I mentioned how much I adore Jin in this one.
The KAT-TUN bit was sad, for Nakamaru, but most of all I kept thinking about how that must've felt to Kame. Poor him. Plus with him being caught in inner-agency-power-struggles, that definitely sounds like you'd be on edge. Still, I love how they talk about him, about Johnny's, everything, like, this familiarity they have going with each other, I think that shines through.
Kame was pissed. He was pissed all the time.
Oh dear. Poor Kame. He must've been on an inner rampage. Takes many blowjobs to resolve, I guess. >.>
With the ending being so sad, I hope this might not be the last time Jin and Nakamaru meet. They both need some company. ;_;
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-17 09:31 pm (UTC)The barfquarium is proving surprisingly popular!
Also, Jin as an investigator turns out to be more skilled than I'd have thought
Ha! We should recommend that to him as a development possibility from his security job. *g*
XD I can hear him speak--Nakamaru, aged, 100%!!
YAY! :DDDDD
Have I mentioned how much I adore Jin in this one.
WE DO NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY YOU JUST MIGHT HAVE. but it never hurts to hear
The KAT-TUN bit was sad, for Nakamaru, but most of all I kept thinking about how that must've felt to Kame.
Yes. :-/ We're glad that was... sad, because it was, it really pretty much sucked. So, um, we're pleased. We also note with interest your suggestion of blowjob therapy. >_>
This comment was much fun and well worth waiting for, and the puppy is smiling! #allpurposepuppy
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-20 08:48 am (UTC)It’s nice though how things seem to be almost normal between them. With a bit of awkwardness here and there, but it could’ve been more tense and stuff. I guess both of them needed that?
Even Jin heard about the ticket prices in 2017.
I don’t want to know about ticket prices in 2017. Q__Q OMG! xD #random
Lol at their discussion about rats. But that’s cute actually. Them talking about that so casually. *g*
However it’s kind of great to read that Jin is ready to open up a little again. He didn’t seem to be very comfortable with that before. Which is understandable, but can also drive you crazy. But thank god there’s Papa Maru. Always at your service.
The way Nakamaru resigned in the end was very unexpected. And not very Nakamaru-like at all. *g* And well, okay I’d have guessed some more boring version of all of this. Also a healthier one!
But… isn’t that actually hard for Kame? When he’s really aiming for company present (OMG does that guy even know how to spell the word ‘sleep’?) and can’t stand up for his friend? :/ I suppose they weren’t at bad terms back then? Just reading that Kame actually did nothing. Or couldn’t do anything. It’s strange. And complicated. And I don’t know if I can even explain what I mean. This is all such a mess.
But at least there’s some backstory and some more news about Kame. Though everything is still so blurred and argh.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-21 09:36 pm (UTC)Talking to Nakamaru was totally good for Jin. Also helpful in terms of ferretting out information, but he doesn't get to talk to a lot of people, so this... yeah, a bit of connection is good for him.
The way Nakamaru resigned in the end was very unexpected. And not very Nakamaru-like at all. *g* And well, okay I’d have guessed some more boring version of all of this. Also a healthier one!
It was very funny when you guessed Nakamaru, just differently. *g* But yeah, it's always the quiet ones...
We don't know what Kame could have done, but since Nakamaru left and told everyone that the reason was that Kame is an asshole, we admittedly also think he didn't really have much incentive to find out how he could help the guy. It's not like he even knew something was going on behind the scenes. . :-/