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haikusociety
How To Hook Your Fish (and not kill a dolphin)
by
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solo____ & jo_lasalle Pairing: Kamenashi Kazuya/Akanishi Jin.
Word count: c. 13,000
Rating: Explicit
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Warnings: If there are any warnings for this story, you will find them here.
Summary: Nakamaru graduates, Jin doesn't say goo-goo-goo, and Kame knows what Jin likes.
Authors' notes: This story was written for
edogawa and naricina, who teamed up and bought 3000 words of our services in a Help Philippines auction. (Yes, it was a while ago. #RedK got in the way. >_>) Thank you very much for bidding on us, girls, and we hope it was worth the wait! At first we planned to hold off on posting until after the Easter holidays, because 9 1/2 Weeks wasn't so long ago and this is, let's say, a different kind of story. But then the news came out that Nakamaru graduated just yesterday, and we thought it would be very appropriate to post, in honour of Nakamaru's academic success. Congratulations, Nakamaru! We may sometimes mock you but today we are unironically impressed and supportive. :D
Our gorgeous banner was made by
___clash all of her own free will, and we love it a lot! Thank you, Lulu! ( The room Nakamaru ushers him into is full of people and almost bare of furniture. )
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-26 09:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-26 09:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-26 09:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 01:41 pm (UTC)Nari thank you for saving a spot for me <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this one-shot, which actually it’s 13.000 words (soo much more than what we were hoping for) and it’s amazing.
As you already know I read it during one wonderful night (ok I was awful in the morning but it was worth it!) and really it was like honey on my sore throat (I was almost completely voiceless those days :D)
A wonderful atmosphere, and the feeling of a really romantic encounter, something magic. And the most amazing thing was that you created that sensation, that atmosphere, between two men whom had been friends since forever! That was really something special.
And the many times I simply laugh in my room (hoping not to wake up Cristina) for the funny funny moments in Jin’s mind.
And all Kame’s sentences.. they should be written in a manual. Really, the manual “How to make your fish crazily fall in love with you” :DDD
Thank you again ladies, really, this was one of my best moment of the year <3<3<3
Nari, thank you for everything, and for the fun we had together, conceiving this evil plan XD The girls really spoiled us :D
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 12:45 am (UTC)2. BAKANISHI IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER OMG. X'D I laughed sooo, soo much at him through this whole thing, he's just....wow. Also I was kinda confused for a bit, I was like "Wait, isn't he married, why is he hitting on other woman BAD JIN BAAAAAD!" But then I understood him and Meisa basically kinda friends with a baby who are married because it's convenient. COOL. :Db
3. The idea of "person x is at party, is bored and annoyed and then magically finds person y of interest alone somewhere and makes things better" is a cliche one that's been used all over, but you made it not cliche by 1) making Jin just annoyed and not sad 2) making Kame very friendly initially before flirty and 3) not having them bone right after the party was over. KUDOS KUDOS KUDOS.
4. "I won't put out" Jin clearly has never gotten the memo that once Kame sets his mind on a target he will pursue it until it gets it and he doesn't have time to worry about trivial things like sexual preferences.
5. Kame is absolutely so sweet here, omgosh, he is LOVELY and not forceful or pushy, I'd like to imagine he's like this IRL. :DDD This is pretty much the opposite of how he was in 9 Half and it was quite wonderful to read I must say! It was a pleasant change reading him being all gentlemanly and sexy w/o really trying. Your/Jin's descriptions of him basically being a flawless being, so perfect. <3 Also your lines about Kame's smile I really loved too because his smile is my 2nd favorite feature of his (eyes first :3) and I'm happy Jin finally noticed how sparkly it is!
6. KAME MADE HIM DINNER AJDHGJKSA :'D. And Jin, he can say whatever he wants about wanting to keep things platonic because he's supposed to be straight, but his actions and thoughts and that he was a little disappointed that Kame didn't make a joke about his girly hips will always speak louder. ;) HE'S SO SILLY.
7. "How long's forever?" OH KAAAAME BB :'D SO PATIENT AREN'T YOU? The kiss was really sweet too and Jin freaking out about it in his head, PRICELESS. I also love how Jin noticed almost immediately Kame becoming "colder" once he told him to stop treating him like a date and that it was weird, so adorable.
8. How...how do you guys WRITE these sex scenes honestly LOL like, just....it's so perfectly detailed but not TOO detailed and it was funny and it was soo CUUUUTE cause normally your sex scenes are pretty raunchy but there was like a, almost innocent touch to this one, idk how to explain, I think what made this different was, Kame didn't drag him to bed and attack him, he spent so much time just kissing and touching Jin everywhere, just taking his time and it was just GORGEOUS. I loved this: A guy who's kissing him in all the sweet spots, possibly conjuring up new sweet spots by sheer power of the Kamenashi, and if they were still teenagers Jin would never hear the end of this.
9. "You're lovely." Kame shifts, nuzzling his stomach, a wet ticklish trail down to where Jin's hair starts. "I love everything about you." KAME STAAAAPH ;_; MY HEART.
10. Kame makes a happy sound down there, Jin the favourite strawberry lollipop, Now along with strawberry lip balm, I can never look at strawberry lollipops the same THANKS GUYS. X'D
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 09:37 am (UTC)What, are you saying we are writing cliches?? Inconceivable!! (Okay, yes, sometimes we like playing with tropes because tropes can be fun and then we hope we can do it well enough it's fun anyway. MWAAAHAHAA!)
Poor Jin just tries to be clear. Um.
Kame was maybe a bit pushy. In a very nice way. That's what seduction is all about, isn't it? ;)
We're very happy the sex works. Ha ha. Jin's brain is good for 'innocent' when it comes to Teh Gay Sexxor. XD And the kissing was crucial, after all Jin had to be, uh, acclimatized first. Kame knows what he's doing (and he's enjoying it too).
Hmmm, we might be giving Kame a strawberry fetish in all universes. :)
Thank you for this lovely comment, as usual!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 03:06 am (UTC)Jin's eager excited baby stories and Maru's graduating party full of Marusexuals and big noses and Kame not-so-subtlely hitting on Jin.
"...Preoccupied people can miss signals sometimes."
Totally rofled for a good 30 seconds and I'm pretty sure my cat thinks I'm crazy now.
And then Jin agrees to a date anyway and he's hot and Kame's hot and Kame's such a gentlemen and is wooing Jin like a BOSS.
And then Kame kisses him on the roof, which seemed a bit unKame-like for me because roof and outside and who knows who could see them, but then again he did later admit that Jin's hotness makes him stupid. XD
And of course Kame gets what he wants, but totally only because it's been a year for Jin. Yeah.
And Jin is so cute with his failed attempts at handling the fluttering butterflies that the power of the Kamenashi keeps inserting in his stomach.
I also love how we got to see some of the weirdest second date ever: the Jin edition, with pizzas with squid on them and wailing babies in the other room, and Akame making out.
ALL THE LEVELS OF AMAZINGNESS.
And hurray for Maru's graduation! It's encouraging to know that school does end at some point... :D
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 09:37 am (UTC)Yeah, outside-kissing, but we figured Kame had a sheltered balcony and this was a chance not to be missed. So he got to be stupid too. :D
The second date just had to be mentioned. Kame will have to fit into Jin's life in a very different way now, and into Meisa's and the kid's too, and we like to think it'll be an arrangement that makes all of them happy in some way.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 03:10 am (UTC)what to say, what to say..
you're quick, news about nakamaru graduating was just out yesterday..but i love the image of jin surrounded by Marusexuals (i love that term) in the party..and how he fails to get even one to flirt with despite all his efforts..
you're making me love daddy jin, who would talk the ear out of anyone who would listen about the adventures of his daughter, very much..
i love all the interactions between jin and kame, from the normal conversation, to the flirting, to the dinner, to sex (which is really hot - especially the kissing parts, i like very much), to aftersex, to the 2nd date at jin's house..love the non-existence of angst between them..
i've always liked how you write your jin, its the same here..its entertaining and fun reading jin's commentary about everything in his mind..how he notices kame with eyeliner (i knew no one can resist kame with eyeliner), really just notices the small things kame does when he got introduced to kame seduction..
i love how he described kame from being a tentacle monster, some black mamba who moves like lightning and oh fuck looks hot with it to cheeky, bossy little sun --after reading that, i thought yeah, kame's like that..
and i've always love your kame, same here too..i think i will always love your kame whatever story you might write him in..in here, i love how he teases/compliments jin, his photography, his bakakame moments (love jin for calling him out on that), him being him, i guess..
"How long have you wanted to..."
His smile is soft, though. "How long's forever?" --love this very much..
as always, this is a pleasure to read so thanks for sharing,
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 09:38 am (UTC)We knew he was about to so we... planned ahead. >_> :) We even guessed the grade right (but other things wrong). We'd like to pretend we wrote and edited 13k words in 2 days, but alas...
Isn't it nice, not to have angst for a change. ;) This was our fluffy #redk antidote. ...with kissing...
We're happy you like our Jin voice! There are certain constants about it which are very much about how we see him and his way of thinking. :D And sometimes it's so rewarding to write Jin POV just because we can say so many nice things about Kame. :DD
Thank you for this lovely comment! ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 03:13 am (UTC)this fic is superbly sexy and u made me so so sooo.... *major nosebleed*
thanks XD
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 09:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 04:10 am (UTC)sound dangerous.. but akame lovely..
hahhaha
thanks..
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 09:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 05:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 09:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 08:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-29 12:30 pm (UTC)laughed pretty much right thru this - from Maccahn -jin just does not get it- ok, he's preocuppied. about
getting laid, whoops, his daughter. so him not getting kame and all - well hey. nothing like being consistent >.< LOL.but this: "Well," Kame says. It sounds contemplating, but there's a strange undertone. "She's probably preoccupied. Preoccupied people can miss signals sometimes." He sounds like that's funny somehow." you utter teases – leave the poor guy alone [but where would be the
fic*coughs*fun in that? XD"But I'm a guy." Kame raises an eyebrow." oh Jinnifer.. and growing up and no more dumb shit from mouths.. hmm. right. i see that. [jin, i know your pain..]
they are discussing pants, the getting into thereof, in a room full of Marusexuals. someone take the glass off me – NOW – before I drop it laughing.. l love this, maru stealing the hot thing. cos, lets be honest, that's what dorks do, no?
moving his head slowly like his nose is creating too much air resistance. now, who thot of that one? – rofl – no, plse, i really don't want to know. [i need to keep this safe distance between the haikuesque and me - safety] i'm sure he puts it to good use :P
and "Bordeaux or Burgundy?" "..wine?" "What wine?" evil you is to poor jinjin. EVIL
AND THEN [whoops capslock] the apartment scenes. and you've done it again. all kinds fo awesome and i can't comment more or this will be a book. but it's awesomely awesome. and hot and warm and loving and lucky jin and it's all cuddly and not and stretchy [stretchy?!] um, right. i think i meant, well, i'll just stop.right.there.
[there are limits to self-embarrassment]. more worship your way. and FEELS. and thank youuuuuuu. XDDD
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 08:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 01:18 pm (UTC)Your words are a thing of perfection, as usual. I love how even the bits I'd usually skip over in any story -- #impatient #gomengomen ^^;; -- are so carefully crafted I actually must stop and read them, they're so beautifully phrased they're just a pleasure to read p(*^_^*)q
"Dude, there are constants." It's weird and familiar when he has to explain the ways of the world to Kame.
Aww! Sulky Jin hiding in the kitchen like a petulant child, miffed that he's lost to Nakamaru -- of all people! -- in the sex-appeal department was both adorable and hilarious. I absolutely love that bit. Kame's reaction to it, too... offering to get Jin a drink after pointing out they're free? And Jin who doesn't even see what Kame's doing there? That was just brilliant, I laughed so hard! *g* Right from the very beginning Kame's being obvious, in fact he's so obviously trying to be obvious, even going as far as to point out that Jin isn't seeing what's right in front of him several times! It makes Jin's obliviousness all that more hilarious... Poor lad, he just cracked me up again and again and again! ^^
"Just wanting to keep my wits about me," Kame says with a little smile.
He is devious.
"Would you like me to try harder?" Kame's eyes are sparkling. Jin's getting into the mood of this now.
OH HE'S DEVIOUS ALL RIGHT. No one can resist that.
Their talk on the phone is priceless. Jin's voice, Jin's thoughts all through it are priceless. Jin getting ready for his dinner date -- he's actually nervous! -- is priceless. I really don't want to quote this whole story back at you, but you see, it's hard when there's just so much of it that's pure awesome! Even Jin picking an outfit to wear is hilarious! And the fact that this Jin is actually aware of the... thing. He does. That thing.
Sit on the stupid until it has outstupided itself.
That is priceless too.
So...
I guess this is that part where I explain why I'm absolutely in love with this Kame? Come on, you knew this was coming ^^;; This Kame is... the perfect flirt. The perfect date. He's fun and he's having fun, he's smooth but not careless, confident but not patronising, flawless and charismatic and stylish but human, and most importantly he is paying attention... asdfghjkl. Your Jin is absolutely right to fear him, could anyone not fall for that? I mean, seriously, he says things like:
"If we were really dating," Kame says, letting his eyes skim Jin's drying work, and then the rest of Jin, "this would be the magical early days when we'd be above these mundane things."
What is up with that? I actually just paused and went 'woah'. It's so intense. But in a good way *____* And then he goes 'I know what you like,' and shows Jin something amazing that he's done but not because it's amazing but because it's Jin... and that's that. Jin is lost, Jin is condemned to fall for Kame, all resistance futile. How could anyone not, after that? *_____* You must stop making me fall in love with your characters! I don't do this love thing, you realise? D:
But human, HUMAN, he's human!
Just that someone threw a damper on the sun, and everything's a little cold.
And that's one of my favourite lines. Kame and the sun *____* Along with the paragraph right afterwards, which made me sad but was absolutely perfect... All the perfect lines *____*
(no subject)
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 09:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:06 am (UTC)We sometimes want to write 'the second time' and 'the first time for X' and 'the first time for Z' too for a particular universe, but then we'd never get around to writing other universes!! *sigh*
Thank you very much for commenting! :DD
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 01:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 04:45 pm (UTC)I REALLY LOVE THE TITLE AND AND OF COURSE THE FIC TOO!
YEAAAHHH All thanks to Maru huh? XDD
Thanks for keep writing and sharing this wonderful story ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:07 am (UTC)YES, BLAME MARU!
Thank you for the comment! :DD
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-27 06:56 pm (UTC)The Marusexuals cracked me up badly!!!
Also!
"conjuring up new sweet spots by sheer power of the Kamenashi"
...That's one of the best (and entirely true) phrases I've read on a fic!!! >_<
I'm sooo glad you posted another fic so soon... Can't wait for your next work! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:08 am (UTC)The Marusexuals are pleased now. *g*
Don't let the speed fool you, we did work on this for a few weeks after #RedK was done. But we're a bit curious ourselves how our output's going to be when we're not slowed down by a monster novel.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-28 08:59 am (UTC)Jin's thoughts are so hilarious, and Kame here is a perfect date ever.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:08 am (UTC)Yes, we figured Kame could be a great date when he put his mind to it. (Let's face it, he can be a great almost-anything when he puts his mind to it. Except maybe drawing.) Thank you so much!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-28 02:22 pm (UTC)As always with you.... it's just..... great, wonderful, magical !!!!!
Thank you so much fr writing this !
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:12 am (UTC)Very happy we could entertain you again. :)
Thank you for commenting and letting us know you liked it!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-28 02:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-29 11:52 pm (UTC)So, I'm just afraid it'll end up being even more days until I finally get around to telling you how much I loved this. Which would be a shame, because this wonderful, wonderful piece of a story deserves better. So, short version: I LOVED THIS. How Jin is so out of his element, and Nakamaru the environmentalist-God with his centimeters of unbuttoned shirt (oh maru xD) and Jin is so much cute fail and awkward and not getting a word in, and when he does it's about fatherhood, and THEN when I realized, heyyyy wait, they're waving at each other what what, they like each other here!? and so intrigued, how you'd pull it off with the timely progression from "we've been close friends for so long I know where all your spoons are stored" (okay, that was later, but with the kitchen, it was so clear how well they knew each other, loved especially Jin picking out the most delicous-looking stick without even really thinking about it, like it's automatic, a habit from maybe when Kame wasn't so much into food?), uh, where was my sentence. AH! from close friends who never even kissed and whose one half is absolutely clueless to people who will have the hots for each other, and my, you managed it wonderfully, in a way that felt fresh and original to me even though "they're friends kame is into jin jin is clueless kame makes move jin succumbs to kamenashi hotness" is like. the thing that gets written often. and it just reads like something i haven't read before here.
so. where was i. oh dear, this is a mess. i blame it on the steel and incomprehensible, braincell-killing engineer!speak. anyway, when Kame sort of, reacts, when Jin admits to his sexual abstinence, I was so giddy already, and then when he offered Jin to bring him a drink I burst out laughing. Oh Jin. YOU CLUELESS CUTE SEXY DAD YOU. and the line about preoccupation. and kame, in general, how he treats jin. and then JIN telling Kame he won't put out, asfdafd their entire friendship dynamic in this story, I just love it. was going to succumb and go find quotes now after all but the site refuses to load right now. T__T
loved the trolling bit, and that Jin does go after all, but that he also thought of not going, so he's subconsciously maybe not as clueless, and the awkwardness he feels in contrast to the smoothness of Kame, EYELINER, how Jin ends up not getting annoyed Kame is, uh, romancing him but that he feels treated like one of his conquests, which is just. oh Jin. xD The balcony scene was great, with Jin getting angrier as Kame grows smoother and bolder, the shift in Kame to 100% non-threatening, and Jin's immediate "are you acting", and I hurt for Kame that that's how he'd immediately react just to make Jin feel alright again, and how well Jin knows him. that was so bitterly sweet, and then that kiss. kissing. loved "how long's forever", and Jin's bed panic, and asking if Kame will get him off, lol, and how there is still stuff that doesn't work immediately, how Kame makes the wrong kind of comment even if what he meant is sweet, that I really liked. and that, despite the sex, you can tell they basically have the same strong friendship, only with a shift in tone and an added layer. The end in Jin's and Meisa's apartment, clutter, chaos, and all, was such a nice contrast to Kame's polished place, and I was just so happy for them. Am. Will read again, definitely.
sort of considering not sending this of because clearly "will just do a short stream-of-consciousness comment" does not go well with not seeming utterly kocked over the head, and also it does not lead to earlier bedtimes as I'd hoped. duh. xD
(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-29 11:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2013-03-30 05:23 pm (UTC)....also, I don't think Jin would ever be ignored at a party, married papa or not ( I for one would be able to listen to him talking about diapers for hours...) - still it was fresh and funny, Kame hitting on him and the guy completely oblivious... and then curious, wondering about other guys (HA!), freaked by the man on man action and ultimately very pleased with the outcome. You almost made me want to pat him on his head :D
And Kame..... KAME. Wonderful!Kame preparing a wonderful date and being wonderful. How do you manage that, I can't explain and i don't care but you are the only ones who are able to make me this incoherent!!
I especially cracked up when Kame talks about "preoccupied people missing the signals" and his amused smiles and how Jin rambles and totally doesn't get it. *love*
I think the only thing I didn't especially like were all the compliments ( maybe it's because I personally am unable to receive them with grace), somehow it felt a bit at odds with Kame's attitude in general.... I mean, I can understand in the heat of action *ehm*, but weren't they too many? I think Jin was right to feel a bit weirded out, or uncomfortable =P Sometimes I almost got the feel Kame was exaggerating on purpose, testing the waters to get a reaction.
Anyway, it was really lovely, very very :) and self-confident Kame is always a pleasure, especially when he manages to be sure but not bossy at the same time... Sometimes in "9/half weeks" he was too often the cheeky bastard... I think, had it been me in Jin's place, I would have thrown something right at his face :P
I'm sorry for the completely random and uncomprehensible message. *bows* I hope I didn't abuse your time and I'll be here in a corner waiting for new fics when you feel like it :P
Thank you so much for sharing, you quieted down the craving for a couple of days at least ;)
Hugs!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:42 am (UTC)Yes, that's true. Though on the other hand, where this idea originally came from where these rumours that he does throw quite wild, PARTAAYYYYY parties, and we figured for the purposes of this fic, we would assume that Nakamaru's been playing it shy about meeting people at uni -- saying 'I'm never on campus' is also a good idea in terms of not getting your fans to stalk you there. Is our logic anyway. >_>
How do you manage that, I can't explain and i don't care but you are the only ones who are able to make me this incoherent!!
IT'S KAME. WE BLAME KAME.
But thank you very much. #^_^#
As for the compliments, hmm, different strokes? :-) Some of them -- especially at the start -- were Kame laying it on a bit thick, because he was having fun with the situation. So you're very right, there was an element of trying to get Jin to have a reaction, or trying to unsettle Jin by being very obvious about what he was doing. But later in bed, well, when you've got someone there who's feeling a bit insecure and nervous, giving them positive feedback can be nicely reassuring. *g*
And please don't go to the corner, much more fun to have you here! :D We're glad you liked the story, and we really appreciate the feedback! :D
(no subject)
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Date: 2013-03-31 06:39 pm (UTC)I can't wait for whatever you write next! (:
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 10:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-01 11:34 pm (UTC)It was so sweet and good *__* It really improved my mood and now I'm grinning like an idiot xD
I really really love the way you write <33
I laughed a lot and the 'Marusexual' killed me xDDD
Btw, did I see Nari doing a cameo? LOL
Thank you so much for this wonderful one-shot *3* <333
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-03 04:56 pm (UTC)Marusexuals, we blame them for a lot, they only appear innocent... We're glad you enjoyed it!
Yes, Nari might have snuck in there... >_>
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-04 06:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-14 02:49 pm (UTC)